Preaching to Myself

Some days I’m afraid that I’m not making progress.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m settling for lagging behind.

And there are moments when I want to give up and give in.

But I’m still in the fight.

I haven’t surrendered.

I WILL NOT QUIT.

Because my God is The Living God.

THERE IS NO DEVASTATION GREATER THAN HIS RESURRECTION.

There is no desert that will not bloom under His flood of grace.

There is no wall that is higher or stronger than His onslaught of mercy and no heart so cold that the warmth of His faithful love cannot penetrate it.

He has promised to redeem my pain.

The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me
    because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor,
    heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives,
    pardon all prisoners.
God sent me to announce the year of his grace—
    a celebration of God’s destruction of our enemies—
    and to comfort all who mourn,
To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,
    give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,
Messages of joy instead of news of doom,
    a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.

Isaiah 61:1-3a MSG

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

3 thoughts on “Preaching to Myself”

  1. Hungry.. Angry.. Lonely .. Tired = HALT. All dangerous times for grief to rush in and swallow up any progress I’ve. made. Just as though the date was still 8/17/2010. The day I lost my darling man..Bill

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  2. The devastation of the floods here last week and 6 long hard days of work trying to help friends work on their houses left me completely exhausted and seemed to set me back in what tiny progress I might have made the past 3 months. Yesterday, I had to return to work and I cried almost the whole day. For some reason, it all seemed so fresh and the missing him seemed greater than ever.

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    1. Stacy, even over two years into this journey I find that any emotional draiin (and helping friends like that certainly qualifies!) just seems to bring me back to zero. And you are still very fresh in your grief. We use so much energy and will power just to get through a day without completely breaking down, there’s not much left over. And facing tragedy is often a trigger-I pray that you will extend grace to yourself. I am so very sorry that you had to go to work and that you cried. It is hard. No shortcuts, no days off. Praying for you.

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