You Existed, You Exist

Sometimes this thought is  what gets me through the day:

You existed, you exist.

Sometimes I say it to his photo on my phone:

You existed, you exist.

Sometimes I want to scream it out the window:

YOU EXISTED! YOU EXIST!

My son is not a number or a statistic or only a memory.

He is integral to my story, blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh–part of my life.

I rest assured he lives in heaven with Jesus but I miss him here with me. That’s selfish, I know.  But I can’t seem to help it.

I don’t know how to be glad that my young, healthy, brilliant child died-just like that-here one moment, gone the next.

The broken heart of every parent who has buried a child cries out:

My child existed..

He lived.

He mattered.

My child exists still.

He lives.

He matters.

 

 

“Can a mother forget the infant at her breast,
    walk away from the baby she bore?” ~Isaiah 49:15 MSG

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

17 thoughts on “You Existed, You Exist”

  1. Thank you Melanie for writing this blog so eloquently and expressing what so many of us feel but are unable to convey. We need and appreciate you as we travel through this difficult journey. God Bless you and your family and may He grant you peace along the way.

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  2. It is so wonderful when someone acknowledges that they existed! My son Patrick was the Director of Sports Media Relations for a catholic university in Michigan. Last week they had an induction ceremony for their Athletics Hall of Fame and a young woman who had been a member of the softball team was a recipient. She mentioned Patrick in her acceptance speech, said he was a wonderful person and how much he is missed by the university and all of the athletes who knew him. One of the reasons this made my heart so happy is that this young lady graduated in 2010 and my Patrick will been gone 7 years on November 29. To know that he made enough of an impact in his life to be remembered by someone other than me this many years after his death was an indescribable joy! I miss him every day. 💙☘️💛⚾️

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  3. Pingback: My Son Existed. He Matters. – thelifeididntchoose

  4. My son passed May of this year. The hardest part is seeing people forgetting him. I want to share memories and keep him alive in our hearts, but others don’t seem to want to talk about him. Good bless you for these post. They have and continue to help me. ❤️

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  5. My daughter Erin Nicole born October 6, 1983 and died November 23, 1983, the has never been a day go by that I did tell her how much I miss her and love her. Most day shed a few tears for her too.

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  6. Pingback: My Child Existed. He Matters. – thelifeididntchoose

  7. I’ve never commented before, because it’s hard to put into words what I want to say. Thank you Melanie for what you are doing. I think that you write the words that many of us feel in our hearts. My thirteen
    year old daughter Molli, left for heaven so suddenly and unexpectedly March 31 of 2019, leaving our hearts shattered. She was smart and beautiful, and we love and miss her so much. Molli knew Jesus and had a close relationship with him, and a very strong faith for such a young girl. She existed and she still exists! Though we miss her here on earth so terribly, we know that she is alive and well in heaven, and we can’t wait to hug her again! Thank you so much for your encouraging words. They make me cry so often. May God bless you and your family, and bring you peace and comfort until the day that you see your Dominic again. ❤
    -Karen Colver

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    1. My daughter Olivia May Steele passed in October 2021 at 20 years of age.

      I talk to get everyday and will continue to do so as she exists.

      I love hearing other people mention Olivia as I know she had made an impact on so many people.

      Forever missed, until we meet again xxx

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