When I had a child, suddenly I cared about everything. When I lost a child, suddenly I cared about nothing.
~ a bereaved mother
When I read this comment, I thought about it for a moment to see if it was true for me.
And I realized that, yes, it WAS true at the very beginning.
Mind-numbing pain and soul-crushing agony pressed down so heavily that I couldn’t care about anything other than reminding myself to
In.
Out.
Repeat.
A bit over twenty-eight months have passed and my body, mind and spirit are stronger.
The pain is still great, but I am better able to bear it now.
My heart is bigger because I suffer and it is softer toward those who also suffer.
Trials make great room for consolation. There is nothing that makes man have a big heart like a great trial. I have found that those people who have no sympathy for their fellows, who never weep for the sorrows of others very seldom have any of their own. Great hearts could be made only by great troubles.
Charles Spurgeon
Now I care much more deeply about a few, select “things”.
The ones I can take with me into eternity:
People
And love
And grace
Forever in heaven with Jesus.
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thelifeididntchoose 
Melanie I oh so needed to hear this today. I don’t seem to care about anything lately. I know I should, but I don’t feel like it. The weight of my sons loss is overwhelming and the sorrow is always near. I have moments when I don’t cry and am just numb. Praying that God would help me to see the good things in life and the things that really matter. My faith is shaken and I know that all I am required to do is believe, but sometimes that’s just so hard. I know He will help me. It’s been five months tomorrow. Thanks for your posts. They always minister to my heart as only another mother who has suffered loss. God bless you for your honestly and hearts cry which you share with us.
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Oh Anna! It has been so many more months for me but I totally understand and still feel numb many days. It’s like if you push down the hurt and sorrow, you have to push it ALL down. Which leaves you with nothing. And my heart used to leap at Scripture and worship songs. Now that rarely happens. I cling to truth because I KNOW it is truth. I feel like the woman with the issue of blood desperate to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. Only a touch and He can heal my heart. But I feel jostled and pushed back by the crowd of feelings and pain and sorrow. Praying for all of us to remain faithful until we join our children in heaven. Thank you for the encouragement sweet sister.
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After losing my son in an accident, I can definitely say I have had a swing in perspective and no longer want the same things that I used to want. My world flipped upside down in a second and I now know that there are more important things in this life than climbing a corporate ladder or getting the next big promotion.
I also understand that there are days where I still have to tell myself to “just breathe” because those days are the hardest to get through.
Always love reading your blogs!
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Thank you. I know we all have had our priorities rearranged. Mine have been streamlined as well.
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There is a massive change in life’s perspectives. That’s my experience.
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