I began this blog almost a year and a half into my grief journey.
At first I wasn’t fully committed to writing on a regular basis.
I certainly never thought I’d write every day.
But this month marks a milestone: From November 1, 2015 to today I have posted at least once a day. Not every post original-some reposts of my blog or links to other blogs.
But I’ve shown up.
And it has been helpful to me, even if it hasn’t helped anyone else.
I had been journaling since the day I got the news but was too raw and too hurt to share my thoughts with anyone but God.
Goodness, I’d been journaling for almost 20 years and never expected to share any of it with anyone. It was my way of working through hard emotions, recording insights and venting things that wouldn’t be helpful for others to hear.
But here I am-letting so much of it out to the world.
Every time I press “post” I still tremble. Am I saying something helpful? Hurtful? Foolish? Wise? I never know until I get some feedback.
I appreciate everyone who has commented on or “liked” or shared a post.
It gives me courage to carry on.
My only ambition for this effort is that I remain authentic, faithful and honest about the journey through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.
I want to finish well. I want to make Dominic proud.
It is my way of redeeming the pain.
Thank you for joining me in the journey.
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thelifeididntchoose 
Your blogs have become a part of my daily devotions. So often you give voice to my “mute” brain. I truly believe that a book publisher would jump at the chance to publish your writings. I for one would stand in line to purchase.
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Thank you so much for the encouragement. You are so kind. ❤
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Please keep writing and reposting what’s on your heart Melanie, I know (in my heart) God is giving you the words to share and minister to mama’s like me that have no words, but are living with a broken heart; #Iknow. God Bless You Sweet Lady…
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Thank you Cindy. When you and others take time to let me know it matters, it really encourages me! ❤
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Thank you for sharing your beautiful but broken heart with us Melanie ❤️
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Dear Melanie. I love your posts. I love that you write every day. I completely get them although you are way better than me as I still cant speak to God as Im too cross with him. However I read your posts in the hope that somehow sometime I might be able to be friends again – I cant bear going to chyrch any more so you are my tenuous connection to him. I think of your son every day. I hope he is looking after my daughter or vice-versa. LOVE & HUGS
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Thank you for wtiting-this is an awful journey! And I am still sometimes angry with the fact that it is MY journey. Some days I wake up and think, “Can this really be my life?” As for church-I was absolutely unable to return to our church. Instead I am at a very small country church just down the road from my house and where my son’s body is buried. It is full of people who have known sadness and tragedy and who don’t require that I “put on a face” when I walk through the door. Sometimes when we sing, I’m silent because I can’t sing those words anymore. It’s OK to be that way. God understands. The Psalms are filled with cries of “Why God?!” “Where are You, God!” We aren’t the first. I am grateful the blog is helpful to your broken heart. I pray that the Lord overwhelms you with His love, grace and mercy and that He gives you strength for each new day. I hope Dominic and your daughter are dancing together before the throne. One day we will be as well. No more pain, no more tears, everything wrong will be made right. I can’t wait!
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Your posts have not only helped me to clarify my feelings, but have also helped me to journal some of my own grief. It is a daily struggle after only 7 months since our son died. Please continue to post. I read and save them all.
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Melanie, I think you are definitely achieving your goals of being authentic, faithful, and honest. It is your honesty that I relate to the most in your writings. This journey is not for the faint of heart; it is grueling and gut-wrenching. Yet, within your honesty, your strong faith in our Lord always, always comes shining through. And that…is beautiful! I know that your precious Dominic would be proud!💙
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Melanie all your posts minister to me in some way and most of the time it’s what I need to hear and something I am having a hard time dealing with. God bless you that you pour out your heart to an audience of mothers in a club we never wanted to join. It’s only been seven months that Joe has been gone and I still can’t believe it sometimes and I also want to wish it away, but I press through and trust God to help us all to move one day at a time in Him. My husband is having a hard time and has recently started attending church with me. The devil would want us to avoid church or God altogether, but I know that God has never failed us and He never will. Please pray for my entire family and that God would work His will in all our lives and draw us closer together through this time of heartache and pain. I miss my son so much and am learning to dwell on the good things and not on the regrets. Thanks again for posting.
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