I keep it in my pocket-
an old trinket or a square of fabric or a small photo in a tiny frame.
A little bit of you to hold when I am overwhelmed.
It’s my touchstone, my way of shutting out the world for just a moment –tuning in to love and holding on to hope.
I hold you near so that I can hold on.
No one ever knows how close I come to shouting, “I can’t do this anymore!”
Because I never do.
No one hears the pieces of my shattered heart fall to the floor.
Because only those who share this pain have ears to hear.
No one is aware of my counting breaths-in and out, in and out-just so I can stay in my chair.
Because I never run away.