Who Can See the Wind?

I’m a stickler for accurate theology.

While that might make for interesting and lively debate with fellow believers, force of habit limits my imagination when it comes to what I believe with certainty about Heaven.

So on the other side of sending my child ahead of me to live with Jesus, I find I wish I were more free to make up scenes of what he might be doing there.  But I cannot, no matter how hard I try, create a movie-style narrative that includes him and the saints that have gone before.

And that leaves a gaping hole in addition to the unfillable abyss in my heart of where Dominic used to be.

I also do not believe my son sends me signs from heaven.  I wrote about that here a few months ago.  Although I do believe that God Himself can and does use the natural world to encourage my heart and give me hope.

And approaching the third anniversary of Dominic’s leaving, I need a little encouragement to hope.

So a few weeks ago I did something for myself that I probably should have done long before.  I bought six beautiful sets of windchimes-different lengths, different tones-and hung them all around my house under the porch eaves where even the slightest breeze sets them swaying.

They help me remember what Jesus told Nicodemus, “The wind blows all around us as if it has a will of its own; we feel and hear it, but we do not understand where it has come from or where it will end up. Life in the Spirit is as if it were the wind of God.” ( John 3:8 VOICE)

They help me remember that God drew Dominic to Himself by His Spirit when he was a little boy in ways I can’t see or fully understand.

They help me remember that God was present and working on the day He called him Home.

They help me remember that God is working right now to hold my heart steady and help me rest firmly on His promise that we will be together one day for eternity.

God has not abandoned me.

Every tinkling sings hope to my heart.

fatih sees the invisible sun and flowers

 

 

 

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

12 thoughts on “Who Can See the Wind?”

  1. I actually felt my heart warm as I read your post about wind chimes! Since Ryan’s suicide, I am easily annoyed by certain questions, gestures & sounds. But the day of Ry’s memorial service, a package was delivered to me-AMAZING GRACE wind chimes! My brothers hurriedly hung them outside the patio door. Then 3 days later, a small wind chime arrived from one of my daughter’s friends! I hear them gently ringing and I love the music they make…”Amazing Grace” comes to mind & for a few seconds, I feel God breathe on me.Another week has passed..3 weeks ago today, I didn’t know if I could ever go on…now I know I can, by the grace of God, My Christian friends pray for me, text me often, and my wind chimes gently sing. BTW, the large wind chimes were sent by total strangers-Christian strangers on Twitter, of all places! By no means am I past the mourning.. Pain never leaves but I am beginning to breathe again..

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  2. I want to know, too. When my imagination tries, I see Jeff smiling, but to know what paradise is like I think I need unveiled eyes. Good reminder to continue to strive to know God while I wair for my son’s smile.💛💙

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  3. Yes – the TWO gaping holes: one is where Hans used to be down here; and the other is the blank unknown of his current location. I know there is no way for us to completely understand what Heaven is like. Even if God told us everything, we would not be capable of comprehending it. So I try not to let my imagination run ahead of my theology. But, I sure would like to have a peek at what my boy is up to right now. Is he helping the Lord to prepare a place for me? Is he singing with his new perfect voice? Can he ask for reports on what is going on down here? Can he ask the Lord to send me a shooting star? I don’t know. I cannot know what Hans is doing.

    But I do know Who he is with.

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  6. Well written. Thanks for sharing. With a child in heaven also, that I have never met, it helps to know that God drew her spirit home with a purpose and a plan. I was given a glimpse of my sweet girl standing near a river with Jesus. It has brought me comfort and peace. I may not understand it, but He is so far beyond our limited understanding. God Bless you and give you a dream – a glimpse of heaven of your own.

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    1. Thank you Jane. What a precious gift God has given you to see her whole and safe with Jesus. May your heart hold on until you are reunited with her one day. ❤

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  7. I am so grateful to have found your blog. I too have lost one of my children, Ethan, at the tender age of 15. At times, I struggle with trusting the Lord and with my hope for the future. Your writing helps encourage me and my faith. It has been a blessing to me, and I thank you. It is so relatable and often times I feel as though I could have written portions of it myself. As you know, losing a child is not something that is relatable for many people. I appreciate your honesty and transparency through your difficult journey.

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    1. I am so very sorry for your pain and your loss, Sarah. Yes, it is a hard journey. I am thankful to all who are willing to share both the hard parts and the encouraging bits. It helps my heart hold on. Thank you for sharing that the blog is helpful to you. It’s my heart’s prayer that whatever the Lord gives me for that day will be just what someone needs to be strengthened in their spirit as well. May the Lord give you what you need, where you are and may He flood your heart with His mercy, grace and love. Perhaps Ethan and Dominic have met-surely all of us who are united by this heartache will recognize one another immediately when we join our children. ❤

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