International Bereaved Mother’s Day is observed the Sunday before Mother’s Day in the United States. This year it’s Sunday, [May 7, 2023].
I didn’t even know such a day existed until I was a mom that needed it.
For those of us who have children in heaven, setting aside a day to acknowledge that unique mother/child relationship is helpful.
Traditional Mother’s Day is meant to be a time of celebration. A day when children send cards or flowers or give gifts to honor their mom and let her know that years spent pouring into their lives are appreciated.
Lots of church pews and restaurant tables are filled with family as children come home to be with mom.
But Dominic can’t come home.
That makes Mother’s Day complicated for me.
It means that while I am thrilled to spend it with the children who can make it home, there is always a tinge of sadness to the celebration. And I hate that. Because they deserve a whole-hearted mama.
So I’m thankful this other day exists. Thankful for a day when I can think about and speak about and embrace the child that won’t be with me next weekend.
Because Dominic is STILL my son. He is still very much a part of my heart. And I need to be able to speak that aloud for others to hear.
Some mamas will be drawing or painting hearts on their hands and writing their missing child’s name inside as a beautiful outward testimony to an inward reality. Every day we carry our missing child in our hearts.
So if you know a bereaved mama, give her a hug Sunday.
Make time and give space for her to share.
And then listen, love and lift her up.
Share this:
thelifeididntchoose 
I lost my son feb 20 2002 to a virus that attacked his heart he was only 13, not a day or night goes by I don’t miss him terribly I don’t no how I made it this far because loosing a child is the worse loss a person has to live with. I believe it was Jesus who has brought me this far n last August I just lost my husband of 40 yrs. Thank u for giving us all this day for are children who can not be here with us in Mothers Day!!!
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I never knew this day existed until someone shared this on Facebook and tagged me. I lost my only son 7 months ago and am facing the first Mother’s Day without him. If it were a real life option, I’d delete the day altogether.
Sending love and compassion to everyone here. This is not an easy road.
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Melanie- I have been one of your daily followers since shortly after I lost my son to suicide on May 23rd, 2017. I belong to an amazing grief support group that meets monthly, but I want to take today to tell you how much your DAILY posts touch my heart. You are “real”; you truly speak from a place that understands grief. Your transparency (allowing us to see “the good, the bad, & the ugly”) in this journey has so much impact! I hope you know how much you are appreciated. 💙. I have shared your site w/ hundreds of people, & I know many have become daily followers as well. You are that pebble that has hit the water & sends out ripples every single day. Mother’s Day is simply “one more day” in my life without Ryan, and grief will always be present, but never underestimate the gifts you give us with what you do. Thank you. THANK YOU.
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my son died may 3 2017 This year was/is especially hard for me When I realized today was also Bereaved Mother’s Day I felt a sense of calmness as if I felt my son arms wrapped around me letting me know it is okay….. I know he is here with me every day because every day something shows itself to me when i least expect it, to let me know without a doubt he is here… with me. This morning a work truck driven by my son when he was alive drove past my window as i was coming down the stairs as i was about to start the day. That truck belongs at the international airport about 10 miles away……not on a local street. I am so so grateful for these little nudges from heaven.
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My son Elijaah was Murdered March 3rd 1 week before his 19th birthday March 11th instead of a birthday party I had his celebration of Life service aka funeral , I choose to hold onto and celebrate his life not death. I thank God for the 19 beautiful years I had with him, my daughter and I have learned to take this day by day our Faith and trust in Jesus has carried us thru with such a peace wirds can’t explain. Thank You for this we bless all you mothers that have known the loss of a child. May the peace of God fill your hearts with great understanding. Love and hugs Mellisa Bonilla
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What a beautiful tribute to the life of your precious son! I pray that the Lord continues to give you strength for each new day. ❤
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My son Leroy was murdered on February 23rd 2018. I’ll never be the same ever again.
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I am so, so sorry dear heart! It is unbearable to carry this pain alone. May you feel the Father’s loving arms around you and may He overwhelm your broken heart with His grace and mercy. ❤
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A friend, who is also a bereaved mother, shared this. Like you, I never knew this day existed, until now. And last Wednesday I was initiated into this very sad society. Yesterday, May 5, we celebrated the life of my son, a 32 year old husband and father of two, one of whom is due 5 weeks after his daddy’s death. I greatly agree with the comment that our other children deserve a “whole hearted” mother. I will never stop missing David and hope I never shortchange my other two sons. Through tall, I will trust in my Saviour and know that He will sustain me. And I will allow myself days to grieve my baby, whether it is May 5 or some other day but it is lovely to know that there is a day to encourage others to remember and love on those of us who have outlived a child. May God continue to grant His grace and peace to each of us.
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Inna
May the strength you always said you found through Ashley you are able to have today and all days forward
🌈😌
Helen
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Thank you for this post. I am dreading Mother’s day this year. It will be the first one without my son Nathan.
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My 2nd mother’s day, our son Jessie passed away 4/28/18. My heart hurts every day, life will never be the same. 😢💔
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This will be my first Mother’s Day without my oldest son Austin! I have dreaded Mother’s Day and every other holiday and birthday that has rolled around. He was so amazing and had a smile that lit up a room. I will celebrate being his Mama on this day and definitely have a blue heart on my hand.
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Its only been 7 agonizing weeks since our 10 year old son – Ashley suddenly and totally unexpectedly passed away – 16/03/2019. This day has changed our lives forever…. We miss you terribly and life seems so empty without your beautiful smile. Love you forever and like I used to say every day: Mummy loves you All the way to the moon and back.
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i miss you Josh.
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Hugs to all ❤️ Lost my Mom when I was 15 (47 yrs ago) never cared much for this day since. My one and only child died 8/30/14. Now I really dislike this holiday 😪
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Oh, I am so very sorry. What a terribly heavy burden to bear. Praying God floods your hurting heart with His love, mercy and grace especially on Mother’s Day.
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May 15, 2005 is the day my son Charlie left this earth. He is with Jesus and he is my Guardian angel. I miss him very much and I know I will see him again. Love you, mom
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So sorry for your pain and your loss. Praying that the Father will wrap His loving arms around you and give you strength for each new day.
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Not yet 2 years since I lost my grown son cody..miss him so much.
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It is very painful to miss our child. And Mother’s Day makes his absence so obvious. What should be a day of celebration is one more reminder our family circle is broken. May God shower you with love, grace and mercy and give you strength. ❤
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My son was born at 28 weeks and lived 19 days. He would have been 39 on 3/5. He is with his Heavenly Father.😇 Miss him and so do his 3 younger sisters!
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Of course you miss him! Our hearts wrap around our child as soon as we know they exist in our womb. I am so very sorry for your pain and your loss. ❤
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I am a NICU nurse. My birthday is March 5th. I, too, have lost a child. He would be 43 this year. My younger son & I are only 4 years into our grief journey, but time really has no imprint on the loss we carry.
I don’t think we have to look very far or very hard to feel connections in child loss. My heart bleeds for all who belong to this group of bereaved mothers. And I’m so grateful that we have so many who understand and support us in our grief.
Thank you for sharing today.
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We wanted four children. I was very blessed to have finally conceived after two years of trying. We had a beautiful son on September 21,1975. When our son was two we tried again and again, right up until our son was ten….no more children. Our son was a very huge gift from GOD.
We lost him May 10, 2013, day before Mothers Day💔💔
I hate when people say Happy Mothers Day to me…there is nothing happy about it anymore for me. Yes, I will always be a mother to a child but now my child is gone and for me there is nothing happy in a day that should be celebrated with that child because of that child. Not like I have other children😓😓😓😓💔💔💔💔
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Shirley, I am sorry that your heart bears this heavy burden. Mother’s Day is hard for any mama who has lost a child and you have lost your one and only. I wish I could give you a hug. Praying that God gives you strength for each new day and especially on those days that are particularly hard to bear.
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I gave birth to my daughter Brittany on Mother’s Day 1988 May 8th, for her to be stillborn. She would be 29 tomorrow. My son James would have just turned 31 the 29th of April. I miss my babies.
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So much to miss. I am so, so sorry. May you feel the Father’s loving arms around you giving you the strengh you need for each new day. ❤
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It’s been 29 years since our Daughter Kylie was stillborn at 37 weeks. On that day she became our “Forever Baby”. She has been a guardian angel for her surviving twin brother Kevin and younger sister Kaitlyn.
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My first child Kody, his birthday was on 5/4/94., so happy celebrating my first Mother’S Day that year. On Oct 9th, ’94, he died at daycare overnight. Something that could have been prevented. 22.5 yrs later, my heart still misses our Little Big Guy. Thank you God for blessing us with an amazing daughter 13 months to the day he left us. Always missed, never forgotten. ❤
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This will be the 12th Mother’s Day since my son Brandon died of cancer at 22. The last card he gave me was a Mother’s Day card 4 months before he died.
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I am so so sorry. My 33 year old son just died January 5, 2017 after a horrific 69 day battle with advanced stomach cancer. Just came up out of the blue with no family history or any symptoms. We are all traumatized. Cancer is a horrible disease!
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Its been 19 months since my 16 yr old son drowned. He would’ve graduated high school in 2 weeks. My heart is still broken.
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My Sammy Angel was stillborn at 27 weeks. I miss him so much and now he just got to meet his Daddy in heaven in Dec. I’m so jealous and sad and lonely.
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My beautiful daughter Laura had been gone from this earth 22 years but remains much alive in my ❤️
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39 years ago my first son became a angel at 6 months old, my youngest son just became a angel at the age of 23 years 9 months on 2/11/2017…I still have 3 sons here with me on earth but still not looking forward to mothers day as it is always so close to the birthday of my recent son I just lost, we always celebrated them together.
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My beautiful daughter became baby 👶 angel 😇 with wings on 14th June 1988 aged ten days always in my heart ♥ forever missed love 😍 always sweetheart love 😍 from your mummy xxx
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Hmm tomorrow my Son Johnny’s oldest daughter will graduate high school. I’m a hot mess today.
I hate there is such a day and I hate there is several of us feeling this pain.
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