You Are Not Alone

Grief is isolating.

Even in our immediate family, differing grief styles, personalities and gender can separate us from one another in our sorrow.

And out in the world, well-THAT separation is as long and tall as the Great Wall of China.

But I’m here to tell you that you are NOT alone.

I felt so very alone after Dominic ran ahead to heaven.  I only knew a couple of bereaved parents and their losses were many, many years prior to mine so they were at a different place.  Although they reached out, I didn’t have the courage or words to access their wisdom.

I live in a very small community and though I expanded my search to the nearby larger cities, there were only two grief groups I could find and neither exclusive to child loss.

In addition, I wanted a group founded on and looking toward the promises of God in Christ.  I was already discouraged, disheartened and on the verge of hopelessness-I couldn’t bear to have that part of my experience reinforced without the counterbalance of hope in Jesus.

I read, read, read.

And those books helped so much.  But they still lacked the give and take I needed.  I longed for a safe space to share my heart and have others share theirs.  I wanted to be able to ask questions and hear how other bereaved parents handled similar feelings, fears and situations.

I needed community.

It was 17 long months before I found it through While We’re Waiting support group for bereaved parents.

What a breath of fresh air!

Even though the closed group is peopled by broken hearts there is understanding and compassion and HOPE.  Those further along in this journey speak courage to the hearts freshly shattered.  Tender, vulnerable moms and dads know that HERE they are SAFE.

Last week I attended and spoke at the Through This Valley conference for bereaved parents held near the While We’re Waiting Refuge.

I got to meet some of the very special people who have helped me on this journey.  It was a preview of Heaven-hearts united in love for one another and love for our Savior.

Lots and lots of tears.  But lots and lots of hugs.  Lots and lots of sorrow over missing our children.  But lots and lots of joyful anticipation that we WILL be reunited.

You are NOT alone, dear heart.

There is a community of parents waiting to embrace you.

None of us would have chosen this painful path yet we choose to walk together on it.

Come, join hands with others who will speak courage to your heart.

while were waiting

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

16 thoughts on “You Are Not Alone”

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    1. I’m glad you found it! I hope it blesses your heart and helps you in this awful journey. May the Lord give you what you need for each new day. ❤

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  5. My daughter passed july 4 2018. I miss her. She was 28 in the hospital for months. I had the day off but didnt go that day. When they called i rushed but didnt get there in time to say goodby. Im trying but im so lost. She was my only child. No grandchildren. I didnt know it could be like this.

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    2. Oh Mary, I started crying the minute I read your comment. I lost my only child of 36 in Feb this year. No grandchildren either. I’ve not found a single person like me…one losing their only adult child. She suffered for a year and a half with cancer, true suffering at the end. We started the grief process before she died as she was unable to see, write, speak, or eat.
      She spent one day in Hospice and I just got my first newsletter which is how I found this website. I’m so sorry your year anniversary of your daughter’s passing comes tomorrow. The world simply seems emptier to us doesn’t it?

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      1. I’m so sorry for both of you and the pain and unfathomable loss of your only children. I pray that knowing you are not alone is a bit of comfort even as your hearts would long that no other parent share this pain. May the Lord wrap His loving arms around you and may He overwhelm your hearts with His grace and mercy. ❤

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  8. It was a blessing to meet Brad and Jill at a retreat we went to not long after our son, Levi had passed away. Meeting them and hearing their story of Hannah, was a treasured time. I felt it was then that we knew we were not alone in this journey. Brad and Jill are amazing people. You will be blessed!

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  9. It was my husband that passed away I came home from work to find him he had a heart attack. I feel so alone even when so many people are in the room even my own children.

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    1. I am so very sorry Lanetta! Grief is hard regardless of who we have lost. My heart hurts for you. I pray that the Lord will lift you up in His loving arms and give you strength. There is a public page- Heartache and Hope on Facebook. You might “like” it to receive encouraging thoughts and helps for this journey. ❤

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