Learning To Trust God Again After Loss

I am sharing from the perspective of child loss but the things God is teaching me have much broader application. If you are struggling because you feel like God has let you down, please read on.  And please read the posts that follow this one.

God welcomes us to the divine dinner table to talk things out.

Join us.

If you’ve read the blog for very long, you’ve learned two things about me:  (1) I am up front and honest about my feelings, my doubts, my faith and my heart; and (2) I’m not afraid to explore topics that often make the church uncomfortable. 

So here I am again.

A few months ago I was asked to speak at a conference for bereaved parents and to take the topic of “Learning to Trust God Again After Loss”.  I agreed, thinking that since I had already written extensively about this very thing, organizing my previously published musings would be easy enough to gather into a presentation.

through this valley conference photo

But when I began trying to do that, I realized the bits and pieces needed an overarching narrative and theme to tie them together.  I knew that LISTENING is very different than READING where you can go back and access the information over and over to make sure you understand what’s being said.

And I was operating on thin margins.

The weeks I planned on using to prepare were overtaken by a family emergency.  So just two days before I was to leave home for Arkansas I was nearly paralyzed by panic-how in the world could I present a coherent message on such an important topic when I was having trouble stringing sentences together in everyday conversation?

But God…

Two words that are worth holding on to.  

He gave me the framework.  He gave me the words.  He gave me the examples and the courage and the strength.


So for the next few days I’ll be sharing from my notes-putting into writing what I shared at the conference.  Here I have the luxury of time and editing.

If you were there, I hope these posts can remind your heart of truth. 

If you weren’t, I hope these posts can introduce your heart to truth.

It’s OK to doubt.  It’s OK to ask questions.  It’s OK to wonder if God sees you, hears you and cares about you.

That is part of the work we must do in grief.  

It cannot be ignored and it cannot be rushed. 

Come with me as we walk this Valley together, learning to trust our Shepherd again. 

shepherd 2

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

10 thoughts on “Learning To Trust God Again After Loss”

  1. Thank you for this post and the others you will share again on this topic. My loss of trust in my own prayers really bothers me. I pulled out my Bible and found that years ago I had highlighted Psalm 74:26. I reread the whole psalm and found comfort especially from verse 21 through 28. I added a note in the margin that verse 26 is a blessed reassurance of my faith. I am sure my trust in God with respect to my own prayers will come back because I have felt the power of God in the prayers others have said, and are still saying, for my husband and me. I really appreciate your blog. This is such a hard path to walk.


  2. Melanie, I am so glad you will be publishing your notes on the blog. I wasn’t sure how I would ever find the time to watch the videos and, having limited data availability, I know I could not have watched all of them. Thank you.


    1. I will pray that the Lord will help your heart. It is really HIs work. All we can do is make our hearts available to HIm. I hope you will read the rest of hte posts. ❤


  3. I started following you after the death of my 15 year old nephew. You have great insight and it’s helped me to understand my family’s grief, as well as my own. It has also helped me as I grieve for my 32 year old, very much alive, mentally ill daughter. She is completely disabled and schizophrenia has claimed her mind and life. Even though her body lives, she is gone. No one understands how hard it is to watch the ongoing suffering. It’s also not something I freely discuss so most people don’t even know why my life and my personality and my perspective has changed. I’ve moved from being angry to acceptance but it is still hard everyday.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I am very sorry for your losses-both your nephew and your own daughter. Yes, mental illness can steal our child just as surely as death. My heart hurts for you. I’m thankful the blog helps, a little. If you check my personal FB page, there is a video of what I shared at the conference. While my examples are from the perspective of losing a child to death, you may find it helpful in your circumstance as well. ❤


  4. Hi, my son didnt die, at 25 he received 32 years in prison for robbing a store 2x with a weapon, Federal sentance. He was addicted to opiates, an addict. I am in prison too. And yes I am angry at God. My son is saved and a great witness in prison, but the loss all of us feel, is hard.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am so very sorry for your pain. Yes, losing a child to violence, addiction or imprisonment is a very real loss and very real pain. I pray that your son will remain strong in the face of this hardship and that the Lord will meet him where he is. I pray that you will also receive comfort, strength, mercy and grace from God our Father and Christ His Son.


    2. My oldest son (of 5 children), is incarcerated too….he has mental illness, addictions, & eventually committed a violent crime….. My precious, vibrant 21 year old daughter died 4 years ago…. Don’t give up hope! This world is temporal… We are being tried and tested as we await our Heavenly home of complete unity with our loving God. Our temporary suffering will be obliterated with complete beauty, peace, joy, and love in Heaven . This Earth is not our home. Surrender your heart and mind and body to Christ every moment of every day. He is yours and you are his. Honor him. May he be glorified in you, no matter where you are. Learn, follow, obey his words of the Bible. You are his precious daughter. He loves you and your son. 🕊


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: