Did God Take My Child?

This is a question that comes up all the time in bereaved parents’ groups:  Did God take my child?

Trust me, I’ve asked it myself.  

How you answer this question can mean the difference between giving up or going on, between turning away or trusting.

So this is MY answer.  The one I’ve worked out through study, prayer and many, many tears.  You may disagree.  That’s just fine.  I only offer it because it might be helpful to some struggling and sorrowful soul.

I believe that God is the Author of life and the arbiter of death. What that means (to me) is that He is ultimately in control of everything and could (if He chose) intervene and stop the death of any person if He wanted to.

Nothing and no one is stronger nor more powerful than God.

However, we live in a fallen world where sin has tainted the original creation God declared “good”. So there are natural disease processes, genetic malformations, undetected birth defects (that may go unknown until well into adulthood like heart defects) that lead to death.

God does not intervene each time-but He could.

People make sinful and foolish choices that have natural consequences. My son was going way too fast in a curve on his motorcycle. God did not override my son’s free will (just as He does not override our free will all day every day) and my son ran off the road.

There are universal physical and biological laws that most of us are thankful for each day that then took over in my son’s case and doomed his motorcycle to certain paths and his body to certain death when it impacted the ground.

God didn’t intervene but He could have.

Job was ultimately protected by the fences God placed around his person. I believe each of us are too.

Yet God is weaving a bigger tapestry, writing a bigger story than only the part that includes me and my family.  So my son’s death and the changes it has wrought in me, in others that knew and loved him and even further out into the world are part of God’s big story.

I have made peace with the fact that I do not understand nor like what God has done in my life by allowing my son to die, but I will trust His loving character and wait to see how it will be redeemed in eternity.

No, God did not TAKE my son. But He allowed his death.

I gain more comfort in a God Who could have saved my son but chose not to, than a God Who does not have that power.

His word declares that He keeps my tears in His bottle. 

I believe it. 

And I believe that one day He will redeem every one and restore what my heart has lost.  

you keep track of all my tears

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

13 thoughts on “Did God Take My Child?”

  1. I wrote a blog sort of like this one but… I believe that Satan took my daughter’s life. God allowed, but Satan took. That’s my final answer.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I fully agree with this explanation. Thank you for stating it clearly and logically based on scripture. You have blessed many with an explanation that provides truth and peace.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Thank you for this post. I feel that after almost 5 years of life without our 22 year old daughter, Christy, I understand why God choose her and choose us. He didn’t cure her from rare aggressive cancer, he could have. Christy was that good, we were already devout Catholics. Praying over her, prayer chains across the world, praying around her bed together with the nurses at St John’s hospital, nothing work accept God’s mercy for Christy. He choose to take her home to paradise, he knew it would break our hearts but he choose to take her out of her pain, how could I be mad at God for that. Grief is hard but at some point it because selfish. We need to honor our child and more than anything honor God for his love. I have decided to use our loss of our beloved daughter for the good of God. I carry my cross high and will tell anyone that wants to know about our journey. I could just help someone see God’s love.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Excellent post, Melanie. Like you, I believe we serve a sovereign God who could have chosen to save both your son, Dominic and and two of my sons, Russell and Cullen. But He chose not to. As angry as I was at one time at God, I am comforted that He is indeed in control, not I, and no happening is random or catches God off guard. He has a plan and has been in the process of carrying it out from eternity past…and that plan included His allowing the deaths of our sons. Like you, I don’t like it, but my thoughts are not His thoughts as my ways are not His. It is a difficult path we have been chosen to walk, but He is with us every step of the way. Thank you for sharing. Your posts minister to my heart.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I feel this same way, but it took me awhile to get to this point. When my son first took his own life. I was so angry at God. I kept saying over, and over you took the wrong one! I have another son who has been struggling with depresssion, and suicidal thoughts for a very long time. We expected this news only not for the son it came for. It took me months to realize God didn’t take him he allowed him free will to take his own life.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I too struggle with God’s choices… when my son was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I prayed day and night. He was on every prayer chain and prayed over by many holy men. Yet he died. God’s Will; not mine. But, what I struggle with more is well meaning Christians who spout ‘ the Power of Prayer” each time their prayers bring desired results!! Really? Were my prayers not as powerful?? Or did these other people just hit the ‘spiritual jackpot’ With the correct answer to theirs prayers!!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. ❤ Very well said. I like to think of Jesus "receiving" Joel into Himself and His Heavenly kingdom. But if anyone chooses to use "took" I don't feel qualified to argue based on Job 1:21-22: "'Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.' In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing." There is so much beyond my understanding. I am so glad we serve a God of love and restoration. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  8. When Luke chose to end his life, I too at first thought why oh why didn’t you step in Lord? However, if firmly believe God allowed Luke’s act out of compassion.
    I love how you expressed this Melaine “I gain more comfort in a God Who could have saved my son but chose not to, than a God Who does not have that power.”

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Oh Melanie, how I have wrestled with God over this. I, too, have come to your same conclusion. I can (and sometimes do) dwell on
    WHY?
    He could. He can. He didn’t.
    WHY?
    WHY is my 4 year old grandson without his momma for the rest of his life? I cannot answer that. On dark days, I’m still stuck right there. But I’m so grateful that you have penned this battle so beautifully. I so so needed this. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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