Overcome, Overwhelmed and Undone

The past seven days have been anything but the lazy, hazy days of summer. 

There has not been a solid 24 hours where some kind of crisis didn’t find its way to my doorstep, across my driveway or into my living room.  

Seriously.  

tree on driveway edited

On a scale of one to ten, none actually rank high in that there’s not a solution or plan of action. 

But every single one of them raised my stress and anxiety to very uncomfortable heights.  

I have no idea why I keep thinking maybe-just maybe-there will be a season of rest when I can get my feet under me, get my mind settled (a bit) and get the laundry put away.

There are good days.  

But then there are bad ones right on their heels.

I’m 54 years old, raised and home educated four children, helped my husband with his career and a personal business, managed a small farm and cooked, cleaned and was the all around go-fer for my family while each one pursued his or her education and dreams.

But there has been no season as stress-filled and trying as this one: the season of grief, the season of missing, the season where I have had to admit that control is an illusion.

So many days I watch the sunset in defeat.

Overcome, overwhelmed and undone.

I know the new day will bring new mercies and that is how my heart holds onto hope. 

lamentations-3-22-23

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

17 thoughts on “Overcome, Overwhelmed and Undone”

  1. Only just caught up online.
    Sorry to hear everything is so stressful for you at the moment. Some days are so hard and getting through them seems to take so much more than we have available to give. Chin up dear heart, you keep us all afloat most days so know that we are all keeping you in our prayers. xxx

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    1. Thank you Carol. I took a mental health day today and it was a good day. 🙂 Except for the ants I discovered had found my coffee AFTER I took a sip But it’s all good. ❤

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      1. Yes we need those days….stop tge world, I want to get off days. I’m not sure we would know where tge heck to go if we did get off though 😁
        I live just outside the city of Kingston upon Hull and after living all my life in the city, moved to a place on the very edge of a golf course (don’t play mind)…lots more creepie crawlies to contend with….so every sympathy with the coffee 😁

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  2. Your words remind me of Psalm 42:7-8
    “Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.
    Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.”
    I taught Psalms for a couple years at New Tribes Bible Institute. The understanding is greatly enriched if one picks up the full imagery of being in a tiny craft tossed on the sea in storm conditions, and witnessing close by the awesome phenomenon of God’s waterspouts; the deep of waters from the heavens violently spiralling down, as the waters from the deep of the sea seem to reach up in a rushing torrent to meet them, and they come together in a deafening, terrifying clap of thunder.
    But the study of God’s “lovingkindness” (Hebrew word: chesed or hesed) in this context is equally enriching and heartening.
    They also remind me of Jonah chapter two.
    And of myself.
    Your words very much remind me of me.
    Thank you, once again.

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    1. I hold onto all those wonderful word pictures when my heart feels overwhelmed. I especially hold onto Chesed-His lovingkindness never fails. Thank you for speaking courage to my heart and sharing yours. ❤

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  3. Melanie, I can so relate. Somehow I thought I would get a pass on all the other health issues, with myself (I developed Chronic Leukemia after my son’s death) and my daughter(very serious medical issues), then a worry re my only granddaughter, & other stressors, if I had such a thing like the death of my Connor to live with. It feels like a cloud sometimes. What I try to do is, remember the sun is still on the other side, take a minute, an hour at a time……Not always easy…..hang in there…..

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    1. I know what you mean! It seems there should be some kind of cosmic scale so that those of us carrying more than the average get a pass on at least a few things. But of course, I know that’s not how it works. Praying that the Lord continues to give you exactly what you need for each new day and that He helps your heart hold onto hope. ❤

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  7. I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling overwhelmed, Melanie. But almost everyday when I read your daily posts (first on my Facebook feed always) I wonder how you manage to creep inside my head and write so eloquently and articulately the thoughts that swim chaotically through my mind. I do know those feelings of no energy to do the things I know would make me feel better if I could just get them done. Not wanting to really do anything, yet pulled in too many directions and ending up exhausted and more heartsick than ever. I thank you so much for writing something to encourage us every day, despite living through your own grief and all that comes with it. Thank you for encouraging me and helping me know I’m not alone in this.

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