For my fellow Christ followers, my early morning post may have been a disappointment.
We’re all schooled in the “right” things to say in the midst of a trial, aren’t we?
“God is good!”
“I know the end of the story!”
“Death doesn’t have the last word!”
And on, and on, and on….
True. Every single one of them.
If we are honest (and often we are not, because spiritual honesty is absolutely underrated in the church) we will also have to admit that KNOWING all those things doesn’t minimize pain.
It only makes it tolerable.
But I don’t want leave anyone doubting for one minute that God has been faithful these past five years.
He most certainly HAS.
He has been a silent Source of hope and strength and breath and grace. He has lifted my head when I couldn’t do it myself. He has sent His faithful flock to minister to my needs and the needs of my family. He has held me when I would have let go.
I have wrestled and questioned and even shouted but I’ve never, ever doubted He was here.
I wish I could tell you that there was some super-spiritual moment when He assured me of Dominic’s safety in Heaven, but there hasn’t been.
I wish I could tell you of a morning when His love and assurance and Presence washed over me to take away the angst, but I can’t.
What I can say is that the Word I hid in my heart before this awful pain was also lodged there has been enough. That deep well of living water has been more than adequate to quench my thirsty soul. The torch of truth has been sufficient light along even this black-as-night path.
My faith is still just that-faith.
I don’t have special revelation nor an extra dose of grace.
I’m just following my Shepherd, trusting that He will lead me Home.