To The Friends I Haven’t Met Yet

I’m not blind to the danger social media poses to in-person friendship.

For lots of people with busy lives and messy houses it’s a no brainer to choose online companionship over face-to-face lunches, brunches or book clubs.

If I can curate my online presence to reflect only my brightest, funniest and most enviable moments (all from the comfort of home in my pajamas!), why not?

But social media isn’t all bad.

In fact, it can be very, very GOOD for lots of people.

It’s been a godsend for my heart.

I live in a rural area and didn’t have WiFi until late in 2011 and there’s no cell phone reception in the little valley where my home is situated. So before then I wasn’t on social media very much. In fact, I used to get irritated with folks who ONLY posted important things on Facebook (remember this was years ago!) because I often missed them.

By the time Dominic left for Heaven, I was in the habit of checking in at least once a day. That changed to several times a day when I discovered online groups for bereaved parents.

All of a sudden I was not alone in my grief, my experience, my questions, my tears, my tiny victories nor my setbacks.

It’s no cause for celebration that there are so many of us. But it IS cause for celebration that we’ve found one another.

So here’s to all the friends I haven’t met yet from another town, state or country.

You know who you are.

You speak kindness, grace and wisdom over my heart and into my life. You listen when I need to “say” something aloud no one who hasn’t walked our path can understand. You don’t care how many times I talk about my missing son or post his picture. You share encouraging memes, quotes, songs and Scripture verses.

When you wonder if you are making a difference sitting in your living room or at your desk or kitchen table and sharing on Facebook, don’t you believe it.

I am so, so thankful for each of you. ❤

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

9 thoughts on “To The Friends I Haven’t Met Yet”

  1. I’m a lttle behind with my reading of your blog Melanie due to stressing about writing and delivering my first keynote speech a week ago about Luke’s suicide. Your prayers and encouragement from across the ocean helped so much as I struggled with it. I took courage from you as you write every day to help comfort us to not feel alone on this path we have to follow.
    My speech was well recieved and the workshop that followed along with five more across the UK will inform an online “Go To” for, in the first instance, professionals in Suicide Prevention and later the general public. Without you…the friend I haven’t met yet, I would not be anywhere near strong enough to have attempted this.

    I have spent the last week recovering as the whole thing rocked me again…it has been exhausting. On some days I still find it unbelievable that Luke is not here and question how on earth I am on this path and doing what I am doing with suicide prevention. I question why people are impressed with the work I do or what I am saying….it is incongruous with the horror of the reason for my actions and words.

    I seem to have popped into that “fuzzy” grief brain again, very discombobulated. I reckon I need time out so I shall self sooth and catch up on the rest of your blogs ❤

    May the light of Christ continue to shine upon you my friend. ❤

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    1. I’m so proud of you, Carol! Every time a mom or dad gathers the courage to speak out it adds light to the path for others.

      Rest, my friend. And may God multiply your efforts a thousandfold. ❤️

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  2. Pingback: To The Friends I Haven’t Met Yet – thelifeididntchoose | Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library

  4. Those are the exact words I’d like to say to you. You have put into words so many of my thoughts and emotions the last 3 years I have walked this life of child loss. I wish I had a way to express my graditude to you for speaking words of love and encouragement to me daily. Your words have made a difference in my life.

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  5. And I am so, so thankful for you Miss Melanie- you have spoken exactly what’s on my heart many, many times-you put a voice to our sorrow, and I know you sincerely understand this walk-Sarah’s mom 5/8/84-6/8/2014-

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  8. I am new to the loss of a son. Some times are incredibly difficult. It’s hard to think about anything without feeling overwhelmed with grief. There are also moments of laughter with friends and family. I find your blog to be incredibly helpful. We are in this together. Thank you.

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