There has been an interesting back and forth in my spirit since Dominic ran ahead to Heaven.
Before I got the knock on the door I didn’t really fear for my children’s safety.
They traveled the world, did things that would make others cringe, ran into situations when others ran away and I can honestly testify that other than the typical, “Be safe!”, comment by mothers everywhere, I did not sit up at night wringing my hands hoping they’d be OK.
Then Dominic was killed less than a mile from his apartment. An ordinary evening doing ordinary things except for his foolish choice to go too fast on his motorcycle.
And everything changed.
Suddenly imagining child loss was not necessary. I was living it in technicolor reality.
There was no earthly remedy for my heartache. No safe space in the physical world for me to carry my pain.
Only God could comfort my mama heart.
God is our shelter and our strength.Psalm 46: 1-5 VOICE
When troubles seem near, God is nearer, and He’s ready to help.
So why run and hide?
2 No fear, no pacing, no biting fingernails.
When the earth spins out of control, we are sure and fearless.
When mountains crumble and the waters run wild, we are sure and fearless.
3 Even in heavy winds and huge waves,
or as mountains shake, we are sure and fearless.
4 A pure stream flows—never to be cut off—
bringing joy to the city where God makes His home,
the sacred site where the Most High chooses to live.
5 The True God never sleeps and always resides in the city of joy;
He makes it unstoppable, unshakable.
When it awakes at dawn, the True God has already been at work.
I don’t know about “fearless” but I can testify the fear that consumed me in the wake of Dominic’s death for the safety of my earth bound kids was eventually replaced with a calm assurance that nothing had really changed.
They were still in the hands of a God who loved them more than I did.
They were still secure for eternity because they had put their faith and trust in the finished work of Christ.
They were still just as likely (or unlikely) to be the targets of another’s (or their own) sinful or foolish choices.
And our hope was not (never has been) in THIS life. Instead it is in the eternal life God offers all through Jesus.
Ezekiel records a vision of seeing first a trickle, then a stream and finally a river flowing from the throne of God and giving life to creatures, trees and those who eat them.
Truth is, there is no stopping the plans of the Almighty.
And there is no stopping the flow of life from Jesus to His sheep.
I am so thankful for this promise, this truth and my own testimony that God is indeed the Giver of life, a safe Refuge and a sure Foundation.
- Would you describe yourself as a fearful person? Why or why not?
- We are all afraid sometimes. What do you do when you are afraid? To whom do your share your fears?
- How can you make today’s verses personal and allow them to encourage your heart?
- I love the water analogies in Scripture. They really speak to my heart because with a farm full of critters I can see how critical water is to life on a daily basis. Has the trial of child loss (or other hard place) made you more or less thirsty for the Living Water Christ offers?
- Sleep can be hard to come by when you are overwhelmed with grief, stress or fear. Does it help your heart to think about God as the God who never sleeps? Why or why not?
- What do you want from God right now? What would it look like for Him to be your personal place of safety?
- Who do you need to release to the care of the Father? Who are you worried about that you need to place in His hands?
You are never caught by surprise. You know the end from the beginning. When things overtake me help me remember that You are there. I need a refuge from this life of grief and pain. I need to rest my feet on the solid Rock of Your presence, Your goodness and Your provision. Open my spiritual eyes to see the way You are working even here, even now.
I want to drink from Living Water. I want to be so filled with Your grace, mercy, love and strength that no matter what life throws at me my testimony is to Your sustaining power.
Joy seems a distant memory. Days when laughter flowed freely and fully from my belly out of my lips are like a dream. Give me joy again. Even tainted with sorrow, give me joy. Thank You that I know you are near and that You have a plan.