This morning I opened my social media as I always do-checking in on the pages I administer and the private groups I moderate.
I consider it a sacred duty to watch after the precious hearts who choose to be open and honest and expect a safe, secure space in which to do it.
As I was scrolling and reading, I came across this meme:
No quotation marks, no author cited.
These are MY words written about MY son and very, very personal.
You can read the original post here: https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2016/08/17/unnatural/
I’ve written before about how painful it is when people steal words. Not because I want recognition myself. If that was my desire I’d have collected the posts into a book by now. Not because I seek monetary gain. If that was true, I’d have advertisements or sponsored links. Not because I’m so naive to believe people can’t steal them in this wild, wild world of Internet freedom and piracy.
No. It’s painful because it’s disrespectful of me, my family and my son about whom they are written.
I write and share so that others have words to help their hearts. The only thing I ask in return is that the origin of them is acknowledged.
Is there no shame anywhere?
Is there no honor among parents who also share the pain of child loss?
I can’t imagine that a stranger, ignorant of the burden we bear, snapped up these words randomly to make a meme.
I don’t want to spend my time searching the internet and bereaved parent sites looking for instances where someone has stolen my words and dishonored my son and misused my trust.
I’m not going to do it.
But I am going to publicly point out that it happens.
And if it’s you who has done it-
shame on you!
Share this:
thelifeididntchoose 
I am so sorry that your words were stolen. I have printed off your words & pasted them in my personal journal – but ALWAYS with your name attached for the future! Your words have expressed the deep grief I have had to live. You have helped me heal – because I know that I’m not a freak in my sadness & sorrows. You are a HUGE blessing to me!!!
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So hurtful for you Melanie, you write from your heart of your own experience. I so much appreciate how much you put yourself out there for us, it takes courage and you are love for it ❤❤❤
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How simple it would be to acknowledge you…you have a gift of putting into words what we all feel, yet still, this is part of your personal journey that you so willingly share with us all. I don’t believe any harm was meant, but I feel you are completely justified in your feelings. Each of our losses are deeply personal.
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It is sad you were not credited as the author. I love your post and am so proud of the effort you put into your posts.
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I’m sorry that happened. So many have been so encouraged by your blog and, like Susan said, your words give voice to what some of us can’t seem to say. Were you not able to see the mother who re-posted it and address her privately first, to see if she made an innocent mistake? You came down pretty hard on her, although I do understand how you must feel.
We’re all hurting!
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I did address the person who posted the meme privately but she was not the creator of it. I told her that I was not upset she reposted it but that I was trying to track down the individual who created it and have it amended. In the process of trying to find out who created it, I found it posted other places. That’s why I wrote the blog post. Obviously there is someone out there who originated it and I have no way of finding that person unless they read the blog and confess it to me. ❤
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You also said it was a meme, correct? I see memes all the time that are beautiful, poignant, spot on . . . someone has obviously created them – added words to a photo or illustration – and yet no author or photographer acknowledgement. Yet many of us want to copy and paste these to use because they struck a chord with us. At the least, I will often add “Author Unknown” when I use something word for word and I don’t know where they came from. Things get posted and reposted so many times, it’s often impossible to know where they originated. 😞
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You are absolutely correct. I’m not upset that others have shared the meme-they would have no way to know the words were not properly cited. But someone read the words from the blog (they are even formatted as I formatted them in the post) and copied them from the blog (the first time) to make the meme. That’s the person I am addressing. If they still read the blog, then maybe they will bring themselves forward. Maybe not. But now they know that I know.
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As a writer, I understand your concern but I’m sure the creator, obviously a bereaved parent, was not thinking about the ramifications of sharing your message and meant you no harm. Instead, they were thinking about how absolutely SPOT ON those words are. How accurately they summarize our experience. Your words touched him or her so much that they were moved to share them again. Three years after your original post. Please keep sharing. 😘
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