TobyMac, “21 Years” and Child Loss

I am always devastated when another parent discovers the heartache of child loss.

They are forced to join a club no one wants to join.

But I’m grateful when that parent has a platform because of fame, fortune or circumstances and decides to draw attention to the truth of this painful path.

The singer Toby Mac recently lost his son and has chosen to do just that. He wrote a song that puts words to the sorrow, words to the struggle and vividly shares the heart of a bereaved parent.

Here it is (grab a tissue):

While I don’t identify with every word in the lyrics, I absolutely identify with the deep pain of sudden loss.

Why would You give and then take him away?

Suddenly end, could You not let it fade?

What I would give for a couple of days

A couple of days

TobyMac, 21 Years

I have cried the same tears, begged for the same answers, dug deep to find strength when I wanted to lie down and give up.

Thousands of parents walk around every day carrying a burden most say they would never be able to carry.

But you do.

Because there’s no alternative but to get up and go on.

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Even when your heart is breaking, even when your legs feel like they will not make one more step, you get up, face the day and begin trying to put the pieces back together.

And you learn how to love a child that you can only hold in your heart instead of your arms.

Is it just across the Jordan

Or a city in the stars

Are you singing with the angels

Are you happy where you are

Well until this show is over

And you run into my arms

God has you in heaven

But I have you in my heart

TobyMac, 21 Years

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

13 thoughts on “TobyMac, “21 Years” and Child Loss”

  1. Our 22 year old son killed by a drunk driver 20 years ago, no punishment for driver, we’ve had 20 years of indescribable pain.

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  2. Pingback: “21 Years”-TobyMac’s Tribute – thelifeididntchoose

  3. I lost my beautiful 22 yr old in a tragic car accident 5 months ago. I am numb, devastated, broken, angry ( he passed immediately , his vehicle was hit by a truck), confused and simply lost without him. My son was one of my best friends and so similar to each other. How on earth do we go on? I wouldnt want to if it werent for my daughter. Simple shattered here.

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    1. My precious son passed at 38, also from a horrific truck accident on the morning of December 31, 2017. There are no words to describe the pain. I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it through last month. It changes everything forever❤️

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  5. It will be 32 years on March 28th since my John died. He is forever 11. A song that touched me was No Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton which came out around that time or maybe I happened to be aware of it then. So sorry for your loss.

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  7. My beautiful boy, my best friend, Luke was taken at 23, April 24, 2019, from Epilepsy.
    I love my Lord. But I’m having a hard time finding the understanding of why my baby was taken away from me.
    I’m sorry for your loss

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    1. You are fresh on this journey. So, so many questions-ones I still have. I have finally made peace with not knowing and rest in the promise that one day all this pain will be redeemed. May the Lord overwhelm your hurting heart with His love, grace and mercy. ❤

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      1. My son Marcus4ever24 was taken on April 26,2020 drug overdose…thank you Melanie your blogs have helped shine light on my new norm. This has been the hardest and worst emaginable. The Blame and shame I carry everyday and heartache and pain I have to live with not to mention my other children and how it is for them too or my parents they helped raise him and they found him. The passed few days have been hard my birthday is Sunday and I don’t feel right about it I don’t deserve to have it why should I be here and not him its not fair.

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