New Year’s [Non] Resolutions

It’s popular to adopt resolutions for the new year.

There’s something about a fresh calendar that makes a heart hopeful for reformation.

But I’ve learned that most meaningful alterations in habit or character happen when I’m faced with circumstances that squeeze me into the chute of change and force it upon me.

So while I love, love, love a clean page, I don’t fool myself into thinking that anything I write here is likely to motivate me out of my comfortable ruts.

Still, in the tradition of hopeful anticipation, I am going to share some things I’d LIKE to reach for while also building in grace for when I fall short.

Here’s my list of [non]resolutions:

• Write new blog posts-here and on http://heartacheandhope.org. Even after more than a decade of walking this path, there are fresh insights, challenges and blessings that I want to share with others.
• Set aside and protect one day a week for complete rest from chores-both in my home and for ministry. This was a habit many years ago and I miss it desperately.
• Do one creative thing (other than writing!) each day. I enjoy making things and I will squeeze out this important life-affirming act in favor of less important busy work waaayyy too often.
• Send more cards and letters. Seriously, why don’t we do this anymore? Grabbing the mail when it included personal notes was so much more fun.
• Walk (or go to our local fitness center) most days each week. (To be honest, this is something I already do but I want it here to remind me.)
• Read at least two books a month. I used to read two books (or more!) a WEEK but since Dominic ran ahead to Heaven, my attention span is just not what it used to be. My habit has always been to have one work of fiction and one non-fiction book going at the same time. I give myself bonus points when they share themes.
• Limit social media to designated periods each day to make room for these more intentional pursuits. I am SO thankful that through Facebook and other sites I am able to communicate with bereaved parents, friends and family. It makes sharing easier and helps my heart on hard days. But mindless scrolling is a time-stealer and I’m just as likely to come across something that upsets me as uplifts me.
• Organize some of my own writing into printable format for sharing on http://heartacheandhope.org and (maybe?) FINALLY in book form.
• Continue challenging myself to look to the Author and Finisher of my faith, trusting Him to hold onto me when I’ve lost strength(and, frankly) to hold onto Him.

I know right now that like most folks, two weeks into the new year I’ll have already missed the mark.

And that’s OK.

I learned a long time ago that life doesn’t go as planned or even as hoped for many days.

But I’m willing to work at making it more purposeful and beautiful regardless.

Maybe if you’ve been feeling aimless and hopeless, my list will inspire you to make your own and try to do the same.

Don’t let it become your master, though. Don’t let the times you miss your own mark to lead you to feeling defeated. Don’t let the enemy accuse or shame you.

New Year or not, you are still carrying a heavy load called “child loss” that makes every effort more difficult.

So do the best you can and celebrate any victories.

Grace abounds, my sweet friend, grace abounds.