April 13, 2014: The Morning After
Everyone is home-everyone except Dominic. Quiet now that there’s just us. How did I even manage to close my eyes last night? How are we going to face another day? How are we going to face all the days to come?
This is the song that came first to mind even as I sat crying in disbelief:
“Alleluia! Alleluia! For the Lord God Almighty reigns!”
You can watch it here: Agnus Dei by Michael W. Smith
And they sang a new song, saying:
“You are worthy to take the scroll
and to open its seals,
because you were slain,
and with your blood you purchased for God
persons from every tribe and language and people and nation.
You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God,
and they will reign on the earth.”
Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they were saying:
“Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and praise!”
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying:
“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!”
The four living creatures said, “Amen,” and the elders fell down and worshiped.
Revelation 5:9-14 NIV
Either it is true and everything will be well-or it is not true and nothing will be well.
IT IS TRUE.
HE IS TRUE.
God is on His throne.
“Melanie”-clad in black. Covered in sorrow but trusting in God.
“He who sows in tears shall reap in joy.” Psalm 126:5
April 29, 2016
Today I still cling to those verses, still hold those promises close to my heart.
Some mornings I wake and cannot wrap my mind around the fact that my son is gone.
Sunrise finds me crying out to God, begging Him to make it untrue, to turn back the clock and miraculously restore my life before loss.
It is still hard and I still struggle.
But I believe,
I believe,
I believe.
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