Trying To Navigate at 90 Miles an Hour


I will never forget it.

Our family was driving through Washington, D.C. at rush hour (poor planning, I know!) and got lost.

Not utterly, hopelessly lost-but definitely turned around.

Multiple lanes of traffic, unfamiliar signs, lots and lots of cars traveling way. too. fast.

My husband was driving and I was trying to read the map-trying to make sense of where we were and where we needed to be but I couldn’t do it fast enough to make a difference.

As soon as I determined which lane we should be in, which exit we should take, we had passed it.

In frustration, my husband finally just stoppedin the middle of the road on a small patch of no-man’s-land between two diverging lanes.  I was scared to death.


And then a police car pulled up behind us.

The officer got out and asked what was going on.  We explained our dilemma and he led us out of the maze of confusing options to the right road and we were on our way.

So many days I feel just like I did those years ago-confused, frightened, trying desperately to figure out which way to go but never able to slow down enough to really get a good look at the map.

road maps.jpg

I feel like I’m trying to navigate strange streets going 90 MPH.

Hurry up!

Should I turn right or left?

Did I just miss my exit?

I have no idea.

The destination is sure:  I will leave this place and join my son in Heaven.  But the path is winding and challenging and hard to figure out.

I can’t get out of the car called “Life” and wait until I have a clear route marked before me.

Sometimes I manage to get where I want to go.  Sometimes I don’t.

Some days and some events turn out resembling how I thought they should. Many don’t.

So I keep on keeping on.  

I’m navigating with the tools at hand and hoping for the best.




Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

5 thoughts on “Trying To Navigate at 90 Miles an Hour”

  1. I’m browsing my followed sites atm to try and settle my racing brain. I’m home from Mass after which I was bombarded with so many jobs to do during my free time from work….I feel totally overwhelmed. People just don’t get it!!! 💔💔💔
    I need to get off the bus!


    1. Roger, I appreciate your blog so much. Men tend not to be as vocal as women about how they feel. It helps me to hear a dad’s perspective. I’m so sorry we share the same pain. Sorry we share the same struggles. But grateful to have encouragement in this journey.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sorry we have to share the same pain and I’m glad my writing helps someone and I’m glad I can come up the words to express myself. I find it … well odd or maybe not so much … that many of us are thinking the same from a different angle. It all helps us in our suffering.

        Liked by 1 person

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