Navigating Grief: Compound Grief


In the decade plus I’ve written in this space, I tried hard to process before pressing “publish”.

I didn’t want my raw feelings or impressions spilled out across the world wide web regardless of the fashion of influencers and TikTok media moguls.

I wanted to give my friends and fellow travelers a considered perspective, a calmer voice, a kinder review of this rugged and unwelcome journey.

But I find myself unable to do that today.

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I am overwhelmed, overworked, over stimulated and over tired. These last six months have been the most difficult since the first six months after Dominic left for Heaven.

The difference this time around is that there is no margin for grieving, no time for processing, no space for quiet and tiny personal pursuits that kept me sane and whole back then.

For the first time, showing up everyday here feels more like a burden than a privilege. I have so, so much to say but don’t want to vomit words. I want to craft them into a message that might help another heart.

This blog was never intended to substitute for my personal journal. It was always supposed to be a place where I skimmed the cream off the top of a full crock of experience, feelings and ruminations.

But in order to skim the cream, one has to have time to let the rest settle.

Currently, I am leaving one house and doing what I have to in order to head to the next. My suitcase has not been completely unpacked for over six months. I keep an emergency supply of underwear, medication and essential electronics ready to go at all times.

The rest I can buy when I get there.

If I’m with my grandjoys, I get texts and calls about my dad. When I’m with my dad, I get texts and calls about things at my home. When I’m home, I’m fielding requests from medical providers, caregivers and just trying to stock the fridge so my husband can eat when I leave again.

All this to say that I’m not sure I’ll be writing every day going forward.

I hope I can.

I’d love to maintain my nearly decade long record of not missing a day

But I’m not sure I will.

I appreciate every heart who has joined me here.

You’ve made a difference in my life.

Thank you. ❤










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Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

6 thoughts on “Navigating Grief: Compound Grief”

  1. You have been such an encouragement to me for almost five years. Child loss is the worst thing I have ever had to experience.

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  2. Your feelings are so validated. You can only “stretch” so far before the rubber band starts to break. I’d so miss your daily words but in the end it’s about taking care of you and your family. Being a caregiver is exhausting but then add the other current events in your life, debilitating 💔 Hugs and prayers that God gives you the strength and peace to endure.

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  3. Your feelings are so validated. You can only “stretch” so far before the rubber band starts to break. I’d so miss your daily words but in the end it’s about taking care of you and your family. Being a caregiver is exhausting but then add the other current events in your life, debilitating 💔 Hugs and prayers that God gives you the strength and peace to endure.

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  4. Dear Melanie,Please take time for you. You have written so many beautiful words over the years. I reference you so much when talking to peop

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  5. Dearest Melaine

    I have had 14 months of one stress after another and with own health problems I have not been actively following your posts. For that I am truly sorry. However, I am glad I caught this post.
    I am also sorry that you are enduring a hard journey.

    Do not be hard on yourself you cannot pour from an empty cup. I am send you my love as always from across the ocean. Also my thankfulness that I found you in my time of great need. You helped in my healing to carry on without Luke in my life.

    Thank you, and God bless you.

    All my love Carol xxx

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  6. Even (or especially?) when what you write is more messy or raw, you are the main reason I was/as am able to keep going, God has used you so much on this journey. People around me must get tired of the times I quote you and tell them how you said exactly what I was feeling while I couldn’t! But do whatever is right for you during this intense time, if you don’t post every day you are also showing us something: how important self-care is!

    Lots of love,

    Mija

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