Brave

I grew up reading and hearing tales of bravery, of one person risking their life for another, of people standing for their convictions and dying because of it.

The first time I read The Hiding Place,  a book about Corrie Ten Boom and her family’s commitment to hide Jews from the Nazis, I cried and cried.

It cost them everything to do the one thing God had called them to do.

As the years rolled by, I learned of personal stories of rushing into burning buildings to save children and of others standing between violence and its intended victim.

All of these people were brave.  All of them put aside fear of their own safety to do the right thing.

But I am here to tell you, some of the bravest people I know are mamas who have buried a child.

It’s one thing to act in an instant-when adrenaline rushes through your veins and pumps extraordinary strength to your muscles and grants clarity to your mind to gather all your nerve and power to jump in and DO SOMETHING.

It is quite another when, without aid of chemical courage, you wake each day to a long list of “to do” items knowing all the while you will be dragging the heavy weight of grief and sorrow everywhere you go.

Brave is the mama that still participates in her surviving children’s birthdays and school plays and graduations and weddings–all the while marking in her heart the child that IS NOT THERE.

Brave is the mama who gets up, gets dressed and walks out the door to work.  The one who manages to lay aside the overwhelming grief load and still get the job done.

Brave is the mama who boxes up what’s left of her child’s belongings, the things that speak of who he was and who he was going to be and lays them aside for another day, when the pain might be less and she can look  at them again.

Brave is the mama with the broken heart who keeps on keeping on-who shows up to church, who goes shopping, who cleans her house, who refuses to give in to the cloud of doom that threatens to undo her.

And the very bravest thing about these mamas is that they know, THEY KNOW, that this side of heaven, there will be no relief, there will be no respite and they have no idea how close they are to the finish line.

courage doesn't always roar

These brokenhearted warriors are committed to continue to love the child they lost and those around them by bravely facing each day as it comes, giving the best they have to give, and persevering until the end.

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

12 thoughts on “Brave”

  1. This is so true. Just today I so bad want to just climb back in bed, cut off my phone ringer and forget about this thing called life….. but I know I have children who may need me,clothes to wash, and meals to cook. I am just so emotionally and spiritually TIRED😢

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  2. It is a daily decision, to go on without a missing child. I pray for us all! I believe that God holds my son Matthew in the palm of his hand until we are together again. This faith keeps me going. Thank you all for sharing…🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

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    1. Thank you Vicky for sharing this just what I needed to hear the day before my sons wedding.
      Tomorrow I will put on a brave face and share the joy of his wedding day but inside the pain of one son missing will be even deeper and the rawness of it all has already comes a reality yet again

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      1. It is beyond hard to participate in these big life events, my eldest son married just 2 months to the day after my middle son was killed But we want all our children to feel and to know that they are loved. You’ll make it because you love them. Praying for you mama. Blessings, Melanie

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      2. Dear sister, I too am facing this “bittersweet” day in two months.. our youngest daughter, Hannah, will be marrying an extraordinary young man,Kol.. our oldest child, Hannah’s only sister , Rachel, stepped into the Saviors arms 7 months ago… there are no words to describe these days.. joy and sorrow mingled…. 💔❤️

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  3. The road continues and still some how I live on to survive one more day with God carrying or holding my hand. Almost four years and my heart hurts every time I hear of others walking that journey of separation from their child in this life. I too have journaled but they are too raw to share. God is my hope and the only light. Continue on brave mamas, God has our hands, he shares our sorrows.

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    1. Oh so many of my writings are too raw! I completely understand. I share only a small fraction…may grace and mercy overwhelm you and may God continue to strengthen you for each day. Thank you for sharing.

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    2. It’s a unique community we share.. yes… now my sense of pain and empathy can be overwhelming at times for other mommas who are walking this journey.. ONLY holding my Saviors hand, and resting in His arms moves me forward… gives me HOPE ‼️❤️

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