So much of this battle has been fought in my mind.
Really, even more than in my heart.
Because you can’t argue with sad or shock or missing or disappointment.
But you can absolutely argue with hopelessness (there is nothing to live for), apathy (there is nothing to do) and distrust (there is no one who can help me).
So I spend a lot of time filling my mind with truth and doing the best I can to empty it of lies. Some days I’m more successful than others, but I battle on regardless.
When hopelessness tries to take up residence I say:
Remember the word to Your servant upon which you have caused me to hope.
Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!
~Hebrews 12:1-3 MSG
Apathy sits heavy on my chest and makes me want to give up and give in. Why try if life is random and chaos is rampant?
I push it off with:
28 We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan. 29-30 From the distant past, His eternal love reached into the future. You see, He knew those who would be His one day, and He chose them beforehand to be conformed to the image of His Son so that Jesus would be the firstborn of a new family of believers, all brothers and sisters. As for those He chose beforehand, He called them to a different destiny so that they would experience what it means to be made right with God and share in His glory.
~Romans 8:28-30 VOICE
I remember that I still have work to do:
“For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us]. “
~Ephesians 2:10 AMP
The enemy of my soul whispers the same lie he told Eve in the garden, “God really doesn’t have your best interest at heart. He’s holding out on you. You can’t trust Him.”
I shout him down and declare:
The God Who sent His only Son to save me will not let me go. He will uphold me with His Righteous Right Hand. Even in the flood of grief, the fire of trial and the darkness of despair, He is with me.
I have verses and quotes and hymn choruses posted all over my house so that everywhere I turn, my eyes can land on encouragement.
I won’t win any awards with my decorating scheme, but I don’t care.
All of this will be dust one day.
I’m building an eternal future that won’t rot, rust or decay.
“3 Blessed is God, the Father of our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One! Because He has raised Jesus the Anointed from death, through His great mercy we have been reborn into a living hope— 4 reborn for an eternal inheritance, held in reserve in heaven, that will never fade or fail. 5 Through faith, God’s power is standing watch, protecting you for a salvation that you will see completely at the end of things.”
~ 1 Peter 1: 3-5 VOICE