To My Fellow Grievers-Love Brave

I was unprepared for the many traveling companions grief brought with it.  I knew to expect sadness and despair–but what about anxiety and guilt?

I had no idea how large a space guilt would soon occupy in my thoughts and heart-guilt over what I did or didn’t do when Dominic was still with us, guilt over what I do or don’t do now.

I can do nothing to change what happened in years past.  

There is no magic time machine that will allow me to go back and linger long over his jokes or cling harder when he hugged me.

But I can choose to approach today in a way that frees me of foolish guilt and unnecessary regrets.

I can’t do everything but I can do something.

I can love big and brave and refuse to waste the days I have with the people that mean the most to me.

do what you can with what you have where you are

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

6 thoughts on “To My Fellow Grievers-Love Brave”

  1. Pingback: Hey Fellow Grievers, Love Brave! – thelifeididntchoose

    1. I don’t think there is a single grieving parent who can’t identify with those feelings-especially those of us who lost a child suddenly and unexpectedly. I am so sorry for your pain. May the Lord overwhelm your hurting heart with His love, grace and mercy.

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  3. I was just telling my aunt who lives in Florida (calling to check on her before Irma hits…) how much I regret that I was never able to take my twins to Disney World. I lost my son when he was 19 and my daughter is now 23. I could afford to do it now, but have so much guilt going with her while my son didn’t get to go….The quote you have posted is great; now if I can just get the nerve to follow through….

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    1. Tara,
      There are no easy days in this Valley-there are some that aren’t as hard as others but never easy. It’s completely normal to feel guilty over what we didn’t do with the child that is missing. But there’s a flip side to that feeling and it’s this: if I don’t want to feel guilty TOMORROW for what I didn’t do TODAY, then I’ve got to start living and loving bravely. Honestly, for me, choosing to do things with and for my other children is probably the greatest way to honor Dominic that I can think of.

      What better legacy could there be than love?
      Praying that the Lord overwhelms your hurting heart with HIs love, grace and mercy. ❤

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      1. Thank you Melanie; I had to read it twice for it to register and it makes total sense. You have a wonderful way with words!! Thank you and God Bless you and your family. I would bet that Dominic is looking down and smiling you and that is what I want Jaxson to do also 🙂

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