Why I Say, “My Son Died.”


It is a harsh word.

I understand completely that some parents don’t want to use it to describe their child and I respect that.

I have chosen to use it often (not always-sometimes I say “left” or “ran ahead to heaven”) because what happened IS harsh. I don’t want to soften it because there was nothing soft about it for me or my family.

It is heartbreaking, lonely, heavy, hard and utterly devastating. 

grief bubble

As a believer in the promises of Scripture, I use it because I want to paint a stark contrast between hopelessness without Christ and the hope I have because of the blood of Jesus applied to my heart and the heart of my son.

Without that assurance, the hopelessness would continue for eternity.

romans 10_9

But because of Jesus, while this reality is harsh, hard and heartbreaking, I have an eternity of rest, renewal and redemption to look forward to.

not ashamed

I think each of us finds our own path through this Valley and should say or use whatever word is best for our own heart.

This is simply one choice among many.  

I’m so sorry that we need ANY words to describe our child’s physical absence in this earthly journey. 

no evil can conquer grace forever

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

9 thoughts on “Why I Say, “My Son Died.””

  1. I also say my son died. I taught forensic science for 18 years and the euphemisms don’t come easily to me. Without the hope we find in Jesus I would not have survived. I truly would have gone insane. In Christ alone I place my trust and my son placed his trust. It’s all I have and it has to be enough.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My son took his life too. Caleb had severe depression and mental illness. When I speak of him to my husband, sometimes I say, “When Caleb left us,” because that’s what he did. He is in his Savior’s presence now and will never hurt again. As King David said after his baby son died, “He cannot return to me, but I will go to him.” I look forward to that day!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I agree, Melanie. I cringe when I hear “passed away” My son died. He was murdered. I reserve pass away for peaceful deaths, natural causes and such. I also am not a fan of lost. I didn’t lose my son – he was taken away from me. Words matter.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Oh how I empathise with your choices of words to use. I too have that difficulty….”committed suicide,” I feel brings with it the awful chanc of judgement that I sometimes see in someone’s eyes. I prefer “took his own life.”
    My hope sustains me that Luke is God’s child and He woukd never forsake him 💔
    Our boys are safe back with their Father xxx

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s