Is It Really MY Responsibility? Letting Go of What I Can’t Control.

I’m one of those people that will answer a stranger’s question in a store if I think I can help.  

It’s how I’m made.  

Sometimes, though, that sense that “if I CAN help, I MUST help” is a burden.

I end up taking responsibility for all kinds of things that I shouldn’t.  I step in when I should just walk away.  I try to make folks happy when it is not in my power to do so.  I clean up messes I didn’t make and rob the one who DID make them the opportunity to grow and learn through a mistake.

 And, to be honest, I empty myself of the limited energy and resources I have this side of child loss.   

I’m trying to do better.  

I’m trying to let go and let others take their lumps.

I’m trying to shoulder only my OWN responsibility.  Because in the end, it’s all that I can really control.  

MY words, behavior, actions, efforts mistakes, ideas and consequences. 

The rest is up to others. 

is and is not my responsibility

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

4 thoughts on “Is It Really MY Responsibility? Letting Go of What I Can’t Control.”

  1. I’m a helper too and it is so easy for others to just let you instead of taking their share…I am learning to stand back and wait a while.
    I still feel quite vulnerable, nearly three years on but I’m sure most people don’t recognise that side of me. We only have that “limited energy” and I am much more willing to conserve it in order to protect myself a little.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m trying hard to set limits that are reasonable and doable. Not all that great at it. And you’re right-I’m almost 5 years out and people really have no idea. ❤


  2. I’m exactly like that and it has been difficult to reign in something built into my core temperament. But, like you, since my Ryan left us 2+ years ago I just don’t have the energy to constantly interject myself like I used to. I’m much more discriminating now, recognizing my own limitations and, frankly oftentimes the inability to even care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have to admit to myself and others (even when/if they don’t understand!) that I do not have the same resources I had before child loss. I’m more discriminating as well. Yet I still find myself over my head pretty often. ❤


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