In recent years I’ve noticed more awareness of how hard it can be for women who struggle with infertility to walk into church on Mother’s Day and I am glad.
Pews filled with other women’s children and bulletin announcements, public recognition of “oldest mother”, “youngest mother”, “mother with the most children” along with the obligatory sermon based on Proverbs 31 conspire in a litany of accusation against the barren womb.
Some of these women choose to stay home. Others may be silently lifting a prayer for grace or may, like Hannah, be begging God for a child.
As a bereaved mother, this is a complicated holiday for me too.
I am so, so thankful for all my children.
I received each as a gift from God and treasure them in my heart.
Being a mother has been and continues to be the most demanding and most rewarding thing I have ever done or ever hope to do.
I used to look forward to Mother’s Day.
Not so much because it celebrated me as a mom, but because it was a moment to pause, reflect and remember how wonderful it is to be surrounded by my children.
But there’s no train from here to Heaven, no telephone line that can bridge the gap between where I am and where Dominic is.
I will never again be able to gather my children around our earthly table, see each of their faces, hug their necks.
So bear with me.
- Let me be happy for the children I can see and sad for the one I can’t.
- I might join in with singing, or I might just close my eyes and remember Sundays past when we were sitting in the same pew, together and strong.
- If you see me rush out of the sanctuary at the end of service, please don’t stop me. Let me go-I may have held back sobs during the closing prayer and need to escape and let them loose.
And if you think of me and other mothers who have buried children, pray for me and for them.
Pray that we finish strong, that we persevere and that we continue to cling to the One Who can carry us through the rest of our days with hope and courage.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you will abound in hope and overflow with confidence in His promises.
Romans 15:13 AMP