Choosing Joy

“I will choose to find joy in the journey that God has set before me.”

For my friends fresh in loss or other hard life circumstances, this statement may hurt your heart.

I get it!

It still hurts mine.

But what I’ve discovered is that while I cannot control the things that happen TO me, I can decide-by an extremely difficult and costly act of will-where to place my focus, trust and hope.

I no longer have unadulterated joy in my heart.

It’s tinged with sorrow and informed by pain.

But it’s still there-deep inside-where I know, know, know that my tears are seen and all of this will be redeemed.

you keep track of all my tears

I can choose to remind my heart that God is good, kind and loving.  He has not abandoned me nor is He punishing me.

This life is hard and I’m struggling.

But there are still beautiful people and beautiful moments along the way and I don’t want to miss them.

 

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Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

5 thoughts on “Choosing Joy”

  1. Melanie, I have followed your blog and read it for almost 4 years, now, and you seem to always be in the same or similar place I am, but lately it seems as though your spirit and my spirit are somehow connected! You speak my thoughts as though we had a conversation about them a few days ago. You have been, and continue to be a tremendous blessing in this walk of grief we travel together. God bless you.

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  2. I think at times, joy, laughter just finds me, but it’s always tainted with sorrow. I just don’t know how to choose it from behind the doors. Hugs.

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  5. Worded so beautifully. I am 2 months into this devastating journey. I couldn’t have made it one day without God. He has whispered so gently to me that HE loves my son so much more than I even could, as his mother. I hold on to His promises that one day we all be together in heaven. He has also promised to lead me, comfort me, and hold me through this until the day my son and I are together again. I was just reading today about how we are not promised an easy life, but we are promised that we are loved and because we are loved we will have eternal life.
    Oh how my heart is broken, and the pain is unending, but I hold on.

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