Eight Grief Quotes That Help My Heart On Hard Days

I’m kind of selective in what memes I toss around.

I don’t usually share them unless I can agree wholeheartedly with them.

But sometimes a meme is the simplest and most effective way to communicate truth.  And sometimes I just need a quick lift on a hard day. 

So here are a few I like:

mixed stages of grief

Grief is not a smooth path up and out of the pit of despair, it’s a tangled mess of thoughts, feelings and physical manifestations.  Grief is WORK.  So, so much work.

grief not a disorder

Grief is not abnormal.  It is not weakness.  It is the natural response to loving someone who is no longer within reach.  There aren’t any shortcuts on this journey.

grief lasts longer than sympathy

This is a hard one.  People mean well but unless they have lost a child (or experienced other significant loss) they just don’t realize that grief lasts a lifetime.  What is a date on the calendar for everyone else-a finite experience with an endpoint-is an ongoing reality for us.

Sympathy will not outlast grief.  The friends who stick around are the ones who understand that.  They choose compassion-which lasts forever.  

grief only exists where love lived first

Another way to say it is “Grief is love unfinished”.  Grief isn’t something conjured up by a heart.  It’s the natural expression of love when the object of that love is no longer available.  Grief IS love.  So it’s no wonder a parent will grieve the rest of his or her life.

give yourself space to do the work grief requires

You cannot do the work grief requires without setting aside time and space to do it.  Running away, stuffing and distraction seem like real options but they aren’t.

Grief will not be denied. 

It will not be ignored. 

So face it. 

Do the work it takes.

grief jumps out least expect it

No matter how long it’s been, grief will still surprise you.  Tears at the most inopportune moment, memories washing over you like waves, joy and sorrow meeting when the camera flashes.  That’s OK.  Let it roll.  Feel it.

its ok to ask for help

It’s not only OK to ask for help, it’s vitally important to ask for it.  NO ONE can bear the burden of grief alone.  People around you might not realize that or might not know how to help.  ASK.  Get counseling if you need to.  Get practical household help if you need to.  Take medication if you need to.  There is nothing shameful in asking for and receiving help.  

one step at a time necklace

Finally, rest assured that there is really no way to face this life in the Valley except to simply take it one step-sometimes one breath-at a time.  Looking too far down the road will only discourage you.  Perseverance IS the victory, dear heart.  It’s a marathon, not a sprint.  It’s not a sickness that can be “cured”It’s a heart condition that must be acknowledged and impacts life every single day.  

Sometimes when I’m having an especially hard day, I have to remind myself of all these things.  

It helps me.  

I hope it helps you too.  ❤

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

9 thoughts on “Eight Grief Quotes That Help My Heart On Hard Days”

    1. Patsy, there is an option to sign up for the posts via email if you don’t already so you would have them in your inbox. You can also share via email using the link at the bottom of the posts. I’m thankful the posts help your heart. May the Lord continue to greet you each day with enough grace to handle the challenges. ❤

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  1. My personal favorite is the grief graph. At six years the zig zags are not quite as extreme but give me a day and I still go from content to devastated. As Forest Gump says, “Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you are going to get.” One thing I have learned on this journey is not to trust my brain at least as far as grief goes. I have found it to be consistently unreliable as a gauge of how I am really doing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a keen insight, Wesley. I agree-I fool myself sometimes as to how I’m really doing. It leaks out eventually. Sometimes as greater joy than I thought I’d ever feel again (my grandson!) and sometimes in tears after what seemed like a pretty good day. Six years here too and mine is usually less extreme as well.

      Forest had some real wisdom there, didn’t he? ❤

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  2. My son, Michael, died May 21, 2016. The last holiday we celebrated together was Mother’s Day. I have such mixed emotions on that day. He was only 15 when he accidentally drowned.
    I miss him everyday.
    Thank you for your blog , Melanie. You know exactly how I’m feeling when you put words to paper.
    God Bless You. 💜💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My son Dallas accidentally drowned on May 30, 2019, also right after Mother’s Day. My daughter and her husband and my granddaughter surprised me that last Mother’s Day so I am forever grateful we could spend that last Mother’s Day all together. We all were at Dallas and Nicole’s for dinner. He left behind 2 beautiful sons aged 4 & 1 1/2 years old. And then we celebrated the 4 year olds birthday between Dallas’s passing and his funeral! Almost more then a heart can bare.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am so very sorry for your pain and your loss. It IS more than a heart can bear alone. Praying that the Lord will make His Presence real to you each day and that you will hear Him sing courage over your broken heart. ❤

        Like

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