When I find words for my feelings it helps.
So I collect quotes, copying them down in my journal and sometimes hanging them where I can see them throughout the day.
Here are a few that speak to my heart. I hope they speak to yours. ❤
I wish there WERE a secret to surviving this journey. But there isn’t. There is just one moment, one breath, one step at a time. I do the best I can each day.
Over time I’ve grown stronger and better able to carry the load. Over time I’ve learned how to shift my focus from my son’s death to his life.
Death ends so many things.
But it does not end the influence of my son’s life on my heart and it can’t steal the moments I shared with him.
As long as I hum the tune of his unique song I can still hear him.
Before I was the one in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I didn’t realize it’s a lifelong journey. I acknowledged that loss changed a person but I didn’t know that it keeps changing you. Grief influences how I experience the present not just how I view the past.
When Dominic ran ahead to Heaven it instantly changed the landscape of my life. The future I thought I’d have was shattered and I was thrust into unfamiliar and often frightening territory with no road map. It has taken a long time to learn how to walk in this uncertain world and I still stumble.
There are no set standards for how or how long a heart grieves. Everyone brings his or her own personality and experience to the process.
It’s tempting to look for a structured guide to measure my progress.
Others can share how they are walking this road but ultimately I have to forge my own trail through the wilderness.
This is one of my very favorite quotes. Great love, great grief. How could it be any different?
When a child is born into a family, no one finds it strange that the addition changes everything. When that child leaves too soon they shouldn’t find it strange that it changes everything once again.
I didn’t just lose my son, I lost the family I used to have.
The place he should be but isn’t looms large every time we sit at the table, gather for celebrations or just line up for a group photo.
Part of the work grief requires is learning to hold onto the love and influence my son poured into my own life. I have had to redefine my relationship with Dominic-figuring out how I to mother a child I can no longer see or hold.
There’s a lot of pressure on grieving hearts to “get better” based on the medical model of illness, treatment, recovery. But grief is not a disease. It truly is the price you pay for love. I have experienced healing in the six years since Dominic left for Heaven but I won’t be fully healed until I join him in eternity.
Every single child is a unique gift to the world.
When death steals their presence, the light and love they shared with others lives on.
As long as we remember, as long as we speak their names, they continue to be a gift to those who love them . ❤
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thelifeididntchoose 
Dear Melanie,
Your messages have carried me through some incredibly difficult days since we lost our son, Tate.
We are hosting a benefit concert on September 30 to shed light on Mental Health.
May I use your quote:
As long as we remember, as long as we speak their names, they continue to be a gift to those who love them . ❤
I will be sure to reference you as the originator of the quote.
Thank you for considering.
Angie Eugenio
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Absolutely! Thank you for asking. Praying for your event. May it be a blessing to all who attend. ❤
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Patrick has been gone almost 8 years. We’ve raised the money and his memorial press box is being built on the soccer/lacrosse field. I’m very excited that it’s finally happening but when I looked at the university’s website this morning I saw the sign-up for the golf outing that used to be named for him (to raise the money for the press box) and the fact that there is no longer a spot on the donation page with his name on it.
In my heart I knew it was coming, that by this spring there will be a permanent structure on campus, visible from a busy road that says “Patrick I. Moore Memorial Press Box” There will be a ceremony and everyone will remember him fondly, then they will go back to their own lives and I will return to mine, keeping his memory alive. 💙☘️⚾️💛
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I really identify with this, Anne. We have a scholarship in Dominic’s name at UA Law School. I’m thankful for that line in the brochure but like you, I know it’s not that meaningful to anyone who never knew him. It’s really up to us as individuals to carry their lights. ❤
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This was so moving and so very helpful. A friend of mine always tells me that if her hubby leaves his shoes out or throws his clothes on a chair, she thinks of Louie , my husband. He always left 3/4 pairs of shoes by the front door because there was 1 pair for each chore that he did outside
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“The only truly dead are those who have been forgotten.” A friend recently sent me a text to let me know he was thinking about my daughter Levi. He and his wife were in a grocery store standing in the same area they had once encountered her, introduced themselves, and showed her that their infant daughter was wearing a hat I’d crocheted. He recognized her from her many visits to my office. She recognized the hat. Levi took their photo and sent it to me. I treasure that photo. When I look at it, I know that I am looking through her eyes. When I am gone, others will keep her memory alive.
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