I freely admit I was never a housecleaning fanatic.
With a busy family, a small farm and mountains of paper, pencils and books scattered around I was content if the most obvious dirt was swept up and the sink free of dishes.
But, I DID have a routine. I DID clean my bathrooms and wash clothes and make beds and vacuum the rugs on a regular basis.
Not anymore.
Even all this time after Dominic ran ahead to heaven, I have not reestablished any kind of rhythm.
Read the rest here: Why Can’t I Keep My House Clean? Grief and Everyday Responsiblities
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thelifeididntchoose 
The day my darling son died the day the world stopped. Everything changed OVERNIGHT from a chaotic family home to the house we live in now, devoid of laughter, chaos and joy, and silence. I can’t bear it. He was the beat of our home ..we love him so much!!! It’s too much, no one can imagine ..unless you are a bereaved parent just what it feels like. Some days I want to move house, others I don’t want to go out.
Our home is a mess ..I admit it…I’d rather devote my time to thoughts, tears and love overflowing for my son. I want to keep him close to us ..his family. I can’t face anything else, it’s just too much. I’ll start trying to sort through stuff, but then it gets too much and it’s back to square one. I wash his clothes ..I still buy things he liked to eat and drink..I use them. I can’t let him go.
I must admit I have spent a lot of time though making sure his photographs are everywhere ..with all of us next photographed next to him..I don’t want home to be alone.. I want to pretend this life hasn’t happened. I know it sounds crazy, but in the grand scale of things the house and material stuff is not important..people are. Love is all that matters now and walking on in faith and love of Jesus by my side it’s the only way xxx.
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Ever since my only daughter passed from cancer and my husband was suffering from Alzheimer’s. He passed 2 yrs after my daughter.
I hardly clean my small apartment. There’s no one to clean or cook for, except me and I am so tired mentally which makes me tired physically, I just don’t want to do it! I tell myself I can do it tomorrow & tomorrow…
Tomorrow’s never come until I absolutely can’t stand it any longer & I feel I’m living like a slob.
I used to keep the house clean & put together and now I just don’t care.
I don’t like living this way, but it’s going on 6 yrs. I guess I need a better reason to change my ways.
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