Our family had only recently upgraded to smartphones when Dominic left us so we didn’t have the treasure trove of photos and real time videos so many folks have today.
I often wish for more of those but there’s not one thing I can do about it.
Even now I don’t think we record as many family moments as we should-there’s just a subtle whisper, “He’s not here” that plays on repeat in the background when we get together.
Like so many other things after loss, photographs are complicated now.❤
I remember everything about the first formal family photograph after Dominic died.
It was two months to the day since we buried him, and his older brother was getting married. A day we had planned for and looked forward to for a long time. It marked a new beginning, a new life, but the spectre of death veiled my eyes and whispered in my ears.
Standing there, smiling and holding back the tears, my heart cried,”One of us is missing!” and I wanted to shout, “Don’t take the photo. Don’t memorialize the absence of my son.”
I swallowed the words and have an album full of evidence that he wasn’t there.
Read the rest here: Bereaved Parents and The Question of Photographs
2 thoughts on “Child Loss: Photographs Can Be Complicated”
I relate so much to this post. I lost my beautiful son Michael at 27 to leukemia 18 months ago. Our family was together during Christmas at my older sons home. My daughter in law wanted to take a picture of all of us and my daughter stepped away knowing it would be very hard for me to see him missing. So it ended up just being my husband, grandsons and my son. I have a wonderful compassionate daughter who knows me well.
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I can relate to you Marcie. I lost my only son Joshua 6 yrs ago to acute myloid leukemia 11 days shy of his 28 th birthday. He was a husband and father of a 12 yr. old son. It was difficult to go through, as you already know of all the chemotherapies and hospital stays. All the ups and downs, waiting on test results to come back. It was hard to welcome a new life come into the world six months later after his passing. His younger sister had her first baby, without her brother being there for her exciting moment. She also got married 3 yrs. later and of course not having her one and only brother present. So many milestones in life continuing on without him. I’m thankful for my three daughters, we share beautiful moments together. We speak of Joshua often, keeping his memories alive. I am a widow, lost my husband 4 yrs ago unexpectedly. He was my rock when Joshua passed away. May you find peace and healing during this difficult time.
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