Choosing Transparency

It will soon be seven years since I started writing in this space and I have to say, it’s been such a blessing to share the good, the bad, the ugly and the desperate with hearts that choose to come alongside and encourage me!

But I’m tired.

I’m just not certain I can keep pumping out (even recycled) posts every single day.

I still have a lot to say-especially to those of you who are fresh in this journey and are terrified that the way you feel right now is the way you will always feel. It doesn’t have to be and I want to hold a lantern high so you won’t grow so weary that you give up before you see the path does eventually level out a bit.

So I don’t think I’m disappearing forever.

Honestly, writing isn’t what I DO it’s who I AM.

I can’t stop but I do need a rest from creating public worthy polished pieces that neither make my family blush nor make my readers scratch their heads.

I’m taking a break.

If you want to see posts, you will have to go to my public Facebook page “Heartache and Hope” or follow my personal Facebook page where I’ll put up some posts from the archives.

My goal is to give myself August to regroup, reenergize and rest.

Please don’t give up on me. I’ll be back.

I promise.

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

19 thoughts on “Choosing Transparency”

  1. I just want you to know I miss your posts…your words…your perspective. They often mirror my own and I feel at home with your blog. Having said that…I understand! Our son Daniel died three years ago, in his sleep, next to his wife, their 15 mos old son down the hall, and it will forever be a mystery….one day before their 5th anniversary. “HOW? WHY? HELP!” Since that time, we’ve welcomed 2 additional grandsons and we can start to feel how life continues to mold and shape itself around our grief. Your words always grounded me, settled me, helped me…and I want you to know how MUCH i have relied on your blog these past three years. I am stronger now, but also know there are new, grieving, heaving, mamas who are likely so fresh in their wounds and heartache…and where will they turn? But you can’t carry us all, but hope you can find a way to keep writing for your own sake and find ways to continue to help your own family heal, with hope, and a future. Jeremiah 29:11. Bless your daily walk, Melanie.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You have helped me get through this heart breaking journey. My son
    John, went on to Heaven when he was 39 and the baby of the family. He has an older sister and brother. A heart attack. He didn’t suffer, he closed his eyes and was taken into eternity to be with our Lord. It’s been 4 1/2 years now. Thank you for being there to comfort me and walk with me.
    Take a break and rest. It will refresh you . God Bless❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you Melanie! Me and my husband are from Argentine. Your writings were so important for us the first years of greave. No one had spoke us so brilliant way and keeping strong our faith in Christ like you. God bless you, you have blessed us so much!


  4. Please take exquisite care of yourself Melanie. Us mom’s are so grateful for every. single. post. You’ve carried so many of us….deep gratitude in all of our hearts for you. Peace, comfort and rest.


  5. I’m so glad you realize you need a break…and that you’re taking it! May you feel the refreshment your soul and body crave. I’ll be waiting for your return.


  6. So thankful for your servants hearts that shares so much compassion for those not as far along in this journey. But I’m sure it’s exhausting. Blessings in August as you take a break. May your heart rest a d you enjoy some peaceful days. Take care of yourself. Give Melanie lots of Grace. She deserves it. She needs it too. Love you friend. Your words have and will continue to do so much for so many. God’s got this.


  7. I truly thank you for being available through my grief journey. My adult son made his transition in September 2021. I found your blog a few months later. You were heaven sent. You provided wisdom, inspiration and hope. I knew I could make it through this journey. I know I will always grieve. It is encouraging that I will have the strength to carry this burden, and I will live. I thank God for you. Everyone needs rest. Take your time and I hope to be seeing new blogs in the future. God bless you.


  8. oh Melanie, thank you for your willingness to share your heart with all of us. I am so blessed that I had your writings to hold onto when I didn’t have the words to articulate my thoughts and feelings. please know how much you are loved and appreciated, and enjoy your well deserved respite. you have paved a path for those of us who walk this road, that has made the journey bearable….


  9. Dear Melanie, God bless you and your family…I cannot even begin to tell you how walking with you these past years has blessed me. My time frame of the loss of my son is almost the same as yours. I relate to your posts as if we were sisters! We are…sisters in Christ. Praying our Lord will give you the much needed rest you truly deserve, you are truly gifted. Thank you with all my heart


  10. I read most of your posts more than once & find new insights…and I am thankful for your guidance during my 3 1/2 yrs since my son’s death. I’ve always thought you give so much but I only ‘take’…so may the Good Lord refresh you, watch over you, hold you…and when the time is right, I will be right here…reading, thinking, praying…and thanking God for you❤️


  11. You are given as much GRACE as you need and as much time and space to take a break and nurture yourself quietly. Whatever you need. You have been holding up a large community of grievers! and Im sure you feel a responsibility by now. You have shared a big piece of yourself and perhaps its getting chipped away. Im giving you my permission that if at the end of August you are not refreshed enough , and you will know it if you are either looking forward to or dreading getting back to writing on this platform, take more time , as much as you need to feel refreshed. Maybe it will turn into 12 months! take the time. You need to heal as well. Love to you. Melinda


  12. Thank you for your writing. It has helped me so much thru this Valley. I totally understand you needing a break, and although I will miss your daily emails, I wish you peace and happiness. Looking forward to seeing you daily again. God Bless


  13. I do understand being tired and not letting myself rest. It builds until it explodes or I collapse, neither of which are pretty or good for me. Take all the time you need, you will be missed but when YOU decide it is time to return we will all still be here. Thank you so much for all the times you’ve helped me so far.


  14. We have journeyed along this road together. I’m just 8 months behind you. You’ve helped me so much, especially in the 1st few years. Im sorry its been such a one-way thing. I still dont have words for how I feel. Take a break & a rest. hugs xxx


  15. You owe us nothing and owe yourself everything. Thank you for the guidance and reassurance you have generously offered while grieving your precious boy.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Oh Melanie! I feel you. Take the time you need, it may be August and slip into September.
    We momma’s who’ve lost a child yet stepped out to help others (& ourselves) are tired humans.
    7 yrs for me since I first spoke in a public presentation to 400+ students this August. Over 40000 people have witnessed our Don’t Stall, Just Call presentation. I AM TIRED.
    I will welcome September with the promise of a 3 wk trip to italy and the hope of clearing and cleaning out my brain! Making space for other thoughts, knowing deeply my Christian is better than ever! He is united with Jesus and his grandparents waiting for the next chosen. In the meantime rest, relax and let “the pen” drop to the floor and stay there awhile.
    Peace ✌️ ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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