The Good, the Hard and the Ugly

Sundays are both good and hard…good because I am with other people who believe that this life is not all there is and hard because to many of them it is still only a belief, not the lifeline they cling to for the next breath, the next heartbeat and the next step.

I’m thankful that in our country, relatively few parents bury children, but burying mine has put an invisible wall between those that can quote “all things work together for good” because they found a parking place close to the store in the rain, and me-who will have to wait until I reach heaven to see the ultimate good of my son’s untimely death.

The ugly truth is that while I wait in hope and with faith, I want my son back.  I want my family restored.  I long to see all four of my children once again around the table-laughing, fussing and sharing life together.

I trust in the Lord’s promise of redemption and restoration.

But the valley I walk in the meantime is hard and lonely.  His Word sheds light on my path but does not fully dispel the inky darkness of grief and pain.  I walk in half-lit places, stumbling on, clinging to Him.  I long for the sunshine of heaven.

“Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.”

John 6:68

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

2 thoughts on “The Good, the Hard and the Ugly”

  1. Praise God this is not all there is and we can cling to the truth that we will see our loved ones again. No – that fact does not take away our pain of loss in the here and now – but it does help us cling to the only one who can bring hope even in the midst of agonizing sorrow. I love you, friend. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. God is using you to minister to so many others through your words. You all continue to be in my prayers.

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  2. This is so accurate. You are very good at expressing how this reality feels. When I lost Lucy I felt like God told me He would redeem it. Our Nora has redeemed so much (mostly having to do with pregnancy and birth) but it has not redeemed the loss of our first daughter. I am realizing that that will only happen once I get to heaven. It is such a heavy burden to carry for the rest of your life.

    Liked by 1 person

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