I know that others want desperately me to be “better”. They want me to be happy and carefree and back to the Melanie they knew before child loss.
And not just for their sake, for mine too.
It’s hard to watch someone you care about in pain.
But my reality has been forever changed.
It’s no more likely that I can revert to the person I was before Dominic left us than that I could revert to the person I was before I became a mother.
How many times have you heard, “Becoming a mother changed EVERYTHING”?
Holding my baby for the first time was truly love at first sight. And that love never ends.
Losing my son did not end my love for him.
Great grief is the price I pay for great love.
I pay it willingly.
Watching the young mother with her infant, the older mama and her child at play in a park, the joy and pride of the even older woman as her son or daughter graduates high school, college or gets married–how could anyone think a mother’s grief could be small?
How can all the love and all the hopes and all the dreams of a mama’s heart be squeezed into days or weeks or months of tears and sorrow?
Read the rest here:
thelifeididntchoose 
Love. Pain. Intertwined.
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