Lost and Found

Yesterday I had to find a lost goat.  

I had shepherded the rest into their pen, each one safely home but noticed one was missing.

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I left the rest secure and went out searching for Carmelita.

She’s old, half blind and has a hard time following the herd.  I knew she would never find her way back if left to herself.  

So I retraced the steps they usually make when foraging in the afternoons. Down by the hayshed, up by the woods behind the donkey pen.  Made sure she hadn’t followed the lane to the road (like she did one day ending up a half mile away).

I called and called and called.  

Her fellow goats bellowed loud and long, the hounds joined in and every now and then the horses and donkeys added their voices.

img_3416Nothing.

I walked to the back of the house, called again and heard a faint, plaintive answer.

She was deeper in the woods and more lost than I could have imagined. Way past where the goats go to eat and blocked by a thicket of privet and tangle of vines from getting home.

She was desperate-I could hear it in her pitiful “BAAAAA”.

Blind and lost and tired and frightened-but she knew if she headed toward my voice, she would be safe.

She trusted me.

Because I had proven faithful.

So I made my way in her direction and she made her way toward mine.

I clapped and called and encouraged until I could see her.  She stumbled along until she was right next to a fallen log that blocked her way.  We were close enough to touch, but she was forced to walk down and around before she felt my reassuring hand on her horn, guiding her the rest of the way to the security of the pen.

Immediately she was calm.  Her shepherd was with her.  No fear now.

In this life it is so very easy for me to get lost.  

It’s easy for me to get separated from the security of fellowship with other believers. My vision is limited-obscured by grief and dimmed by tears.  I can find myself deep in the woods and tangled in vines before I know it, with absolutely no idea how to make it back to open ground.

Sometimes I don’t even have the strength to cry out in hopes of being found.

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But Jesus calls out to me.  He doesn’t let me stay lost and afraid.  

He finds me.  

And He patiently leads me back to the fold.

No rebuke.  No chastisement.  Only love and grace.  

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep in His care.

I give them a life that is unceasing, and death will not have the last word. Nothing or no one can steal them from My hand. My Father has given the flock to Me, and He is superior to all beings and things. No one is powerful enough to snatch the flock from My Father’s hand. The Father and I are one.

John 10:11,28-30 VOICE

 

 

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

8 thoughts on “Lost and Found”

  1. Melanie, Again I thank you and these others who are sharing the amazing grace of our Lord during your difficult times. It is encouraging to all who are pilgrims and sheep journeying through this wilderness. Our trials may not be the same, but we have the same Shepherd. Blessings as He continues to keep you in His care. ~ Fran

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this story of your goat, but more the reminder that I’m truly never lost to my Lord. I remember, more so the first two years after Seth’s journey to Heaven, feeling so very lost, alone and in complete despair and God would always remind me that I would never be lost to Him.
    For a long time after I felt such an urge to go find Seth, so strange. Although I knew in my head, my heart still wanted to look. All my hope, all my trust is in Him. Yes, at times it waivers, He is the good Shepherd and He always brings me back!
    Thank you dear Melanie for sharing your heart!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It’s been ten long months since my Joe has been gone. A knock in the night telling us that he was gone. Not until the next day did I know that I could not even see my precious boy and hold him and tell him goodbye. I don’t have to tell you about all the emotions we go through every single day. But the doubt and unbelief that has tried to overtake and overwhelm me has been a struggle to overcome. All the while a knowing peace, with a blanket of fog and shock. Never did Jesus leave me, but sometimes I just couldn’t find my way. So thankful that He is the good shepherd and He continues to guide me and redirect me even when I cannot see. I had to see that the battle is not mine, but the Lord’s. Death and grief are not easy foes. Thank you for the cry of your heart which you so graciously pour out. I along with many others are comforted by your words written by a heart who knows our Savior and guides us to Jesus and His word. Thank you, Melanie. God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, that knock! How awful and unbelievable when we heard those words. Even now, almost three years later my heart drops to my stomach if I let myself “go” there. So many questions, so much wrestling-but Jesus understands and He doesn’t leave us alone in our grief and pain. I’m thankful for that and for the ones He raises up to remind me when I forget. I am so sorry for your pain and loss. I wish no mother had to bury a child. May the Lord continue to strengthen you for each day and may you feel Him close. May He flood your heart with His love, grace and mercy. Hugs and love, dear one.

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