Give What You’ve Got

If you had asked me four years ago where I’d be and what I’d be doing in life, I can guarantee you that writing a blog and ministering to bereaved parents wouldn’t have been in the top 1000 answers I might have given.

But here I am.  

Because it is where I have been sent.

Not where I would have gone-oh, no!-I would have taken a ship in the opposite direction like Jonah if God had given me a heads up.  Instead I was whisked away on the waves of grief right out to sea.  

Gasping for breath and trying to keep my head above water, I realized that what I had needed early on were two things:  (1) assurance that what I was experiencing/feeling/thinking was normal; and (2) encouragement from others farther along in this journey that I could endure this awful pain.

So I stepped out in faith hoping that being authentic, transparent and sharing MY journey might help another heart desperate to know she wasn’t alone.

I decided that even if others misunderstood or took issue with or didn’t like what I wrote,  I would not pull any punches.  

It was going to be the good, the bad and the ugly.  

No holds barred.

Emotional nakedness-even if it meant embarrassment.  

And I pray every single time I hit “publish” that what I send into cyberspace is what at least one heart needs for THAT day.

It’s all I’ve got, and I’m giving it away.

go where sent stay where put give what youve got

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

20 thoughts on “Give What You’ve Got”

  1. This is beautiful and I am one that is thankful. Your blog has been a lighthouse of sorts to me in my grief. I am still asking God to direct my ever painful steps one day at a time in an effort to make a difference in others lives by being a light for the hope I have in Jesus and eternity.

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    1. Thank you, Wendy. I’m grateful for you as well although I hate how we “met”. You are doing good work and making a difference to so many. May the Lord continue to strengthen you for this journey. ❤

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  2. Melanie, your words have and continue to help both me and my husband as we try to walk on without our Jeff. Knowing that our sons were close in age when they died helps, too. We have this in common, although we wish we didn’t. Your dependence on the truth of scripture helps. It helps that you share your doubts as well. Every day I barely believe and ask Jesus desperately to help me in my unbelief. Prayers for you as you miss your Dominic like crazy. Me, too.💛💙

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    1. Thank you for taking time to encourage my heart. Doubting is part of faith although few want to admit that within the walls of our churches because it seems sacriligious. And maybe it is-against “religion”-but not against relationship, which is what we have with the Father through the blood of Jesus. Relationships grow through times of exploration and doubt. Feeling for the edges of our faith helps us know where we need to ask for more faith, grace and mercy. Praying for you dear mama. May we both persevere. ❤

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  3. It is frequently what I need for that day. Knowing I am not alone in my tangled mess of up and down emotions and ability to handle daily life. I appreciate that it is not sugar coated “have to always be positive” canned Christianity. 🙂

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    1. You are most certainly NOT alone, Judy. Thank you for speaking courage to my heart today. I don’t think anyone will acccuse me of “sugar-coating”. My mama used to get so frustrated with me (she’s such a southern gentlewoman) because I lacked tact. I’ve gotten better in my old age, but if you want to know how I really feel, all you have to do is ask. I’ll tell it like it is. 🙂 May you feel the Father’s loving arms around you today and every day. ❤

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  4. Every blog has helped me in my journey. I need you to know this. Your words help me to realize I am not alone and I am not insane. I am broken and I am not alone. Thank you for sharing your journey
    LaNette

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  5. Thank you for your transparency❤️❤️I cling to your words of hope…. when I started this journey with my son’s death in April, 2015, I had no idea how to feel, how to breathe, how to live again… With God’s love and dear people like you who share your grief journey, I am still standing and taking one step at a time . Thank you for helping us all to deal❤️❤️

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    1. Yes, the community of parents who know and understand our pain is so important to our continued strength, isn’t it? I hate that anyone else is in this Valley, but they are. And when we find one another and reach out, it makes all the difference. May the Lord continue to give you the strength you need for each new day. ❤

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  6. Thank you for this post. I struggle with being “emotionally naked” on social media. I find I’ll write about something, post it and then lose courage to keep it there. I take it off. Maybe I am not quite ready yet.
    But I am thankful for you’re vulnerability. It DOES touch me and I find I can relate to a lot of it. 💜

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    1. It’s hard to be emotionally naked. It has taken me a long time to be willing to write what I would previously only be willing to speak (in private ) to a few people. But I’m learning that it’s helpful for me and for others. I try to be tactful, but I refuse to hide. May God give you exactly what you need exactly when you need it. Courage, sister. ❤

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  7. Dear Melanie, same for me, 4 years Friday! Your posts have helped me so very much, I wish I had the words to express this to you. I am not gifted in this area, and you truly are. I look so forward to reading them, helps to validate my feelings and know I’m not alone in this ugly journey and not losing my mind! At times I wonder. Especially hits home for me because I share the hope I. Jesus and knowing for sure we will see our sons again.

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    1. Thank you for speaking courage to my heart, Cathy. I’m so glad that the posts help yours. That’s always, always my prayer. May the Lord overwhelm your heart with His love, grace and mercy. ❤

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