Halloween

Except for a few years early in childhood, I have never liked Halloween.  The combination of darkness and creepiness makes my skin crawl.

And now, this side of child loss it makes me angry. 

Why?  Because for one night (really, for a couple of weeks!) Americans not only think about death, they spend millions of dollars celebrating it.

Not celebrating ACTUAL death-not the absolute horror of being told your child is gone, gone, gone.  Instead it’s a fake, “funny”, silly made-up mockery of a very real, very awful truth.

Sometimes the “celebrations” involve desecrating cemeteries.  And that makes me even more angry.

grieving-mother-at-grave

Graveyards are the final resting place of other people’s loved ones.  My son is there!  You don’t have the right to make his grave part of your truth or dare game.  

So just don’t do it!

What makes me angrier still is that people will talk for weeks about what they want to “be” for Halloween yet shut down the first mention of a bereaved parent’s pain.

Conversation about costumes, haunted houses and scary movies is invited, conversation about burial and broken hearts is taboo.  

Why, why, why do Americans embrace this paper mache version of death yet refuse to acknowledge or embrace the reality of death in daily life?

It’s no game.  It’s no holiday.  It’s nothing to laugh about or make jolly over.

It’s a very real, very painful, very awful part of my life.  

I won’t participate in making light of it.

pair of shoes

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

8 thoughts on “Halloween”

  1. Preach it girl! I feel the same. If anyone even sets foot near my baby’s gravesite tonight, we will be digging them a whole tomorrow! 😡😰

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  2. So true; today makes me angry as well.  Co-workers all dressed up as witches and they don’t get why I don’t want to participate.  Just trying to make it thru the day and be kind to their enjoyment.  So hard…… Ann Hebert

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I so relate to your comments . My son (Derek , 36) passed away January this year (2017) . Each holiday is a challenge …. now Halloween ! I Try to remember that my son enjoyed Halloween , however it is another holiday to endure. I have never liked or displayed the horror images Halloween ; only the smiling pumpkins, etc.
    As I go about putting out a few jack-O-lanterns (with smiles). They remind me of myself up to on this journey of mourning my son … putting on a FAKE SMILE of endurance !
    I do know God wants me to be strong & have courage for my journey … and rely on Him for my Joy ! The Joy where Love & Goodness resides.). Thank you for listening (reading ) . Elaine
    PS : Melanie , this is my first rely post . Your gift of writing & expressing feelings of ‘the life I didn’t choose’ are nourishing to the soul for us who know & understand !!

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  4. Today – Halloween marks the anniversary of the night my son, AJ, was killed in a horrific accident by a distracted driver… he was a young new father of a 14 week old son, who was severely injured, and his young wife became a widow in an instant. This day is the worst day (as you understand well) and being Halloween….well… your post ministered to me on this most wrenching day of my year. Thank you for your blog and posts. Barn

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    1. I am so very sorry for your pain and your loss, Barb. This day is even harder for you! May you feel the Father’s loving arms around you today, especially and may He overwhelm your heart with His mercy, grace and comfort. ❤

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