Don’t Let It Fool You

Whether the burden is child loss, abuse, chronic illness or some other ongoing and unchangeable hard circumstance, it’s easy to get so good at acting “OK” you can almost fool yourself.

But all that stress and struggle exacts a cost.

Pretending that it doesn’t is not helpful at all.

So it’s wonderful when people ask about it.

It’s a gift when they let us share.

Awhile back another loss mom wrote this and gave me permission to use it: 

In case you ever wonder, please know that it is always, always OK to ask me about [Dominic]. 

I love to talk about him.

No, I’m not OK.  I’ll probably cry, but it’s just because it’s under the surface always, not because you asked.

And I don’t really know what people mean when they say “she’s doing well,” because if you knew what all goes on in my mind and body from grief-well, frankly you couldn’t handle it.

But it’s OK to bring it up.

Talking helps.  ❤

im ok face fools myself

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

6 thoughts on “Don’t Let It Fool You”

  1. I love talking about my son too♥️tears come anyway, but it feels like he is still here when we talk about him. Then my heart starts beating faster, I feel shortness of breath, and sick to my stomach. At work months into this world of loss, I’m still not there yet. I may never be there but I take one day one minute one breath at a time😢.

    I absolutely love your posts!!


  2. This hits the nail on the head for me, Melanie. Wearing my “I’m okay” face has me utterly exhausted. I don’t know how not to, though. It’s how I was brought up – to always act like everything is fine when we are in public. I appreciate you sharing your honest, raw thoughts and feelings. They often put words to feelings I can’t find words to express.

    Liked by 2 people

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