Whether the burden is child loss, abuse, chronic illness or some other ongoing and unchangeable hard circumstance, it’s easy to get so good at acting “OK” you can almost fool yourself.
But all that stress and struggle exacts a cost.
Pretending that it doesn’t is not helpful at all.
So it’s wonderful when people ask about it.
It’s a gift when they let us share.
Awhile back another loss mom wrote this and gave me permission to use it:
In case you ever wonder, please know that it is always, always OK to ask me about [Dominic].
I love to talk about him.
No, I’m not OK. I’ll probably cry, but it’s just because it’s under the surface always, not because you asked.
And I don’t really know what people mean when they say “she’s doing well,” because if you knew what all goes on in my mind and body from grief-well, frankly you couldn’t handle it.
But it’s OK to bring it up.
Talking helps. ❤
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I love talking about my son too♥️tears come anyway, but it feels like he is still here when we talk about him. Then my heart starts beating faster, I feel shortness of breath, and sick to my stomach. At work months into this world of loss, I’m still not there yet. I may never be there but I take one day one minute one breath at a time😢.
I absolutely love your posts!!
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I miss my daughter…that is all
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“She’s doing well” sounds so much like a grade on a report card. 😩
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Yes, it’s good and necessary to speak of our child and cry of necessary.
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This hits the nail on the head for me, Melanie. Wearing my “I’m okay” face has me utterly exhausted. I don’t know how not to, though. It’s how I was brought up – to always act like everything is fine when we are in public. I appreciate you sharing your honest, raw thoughts and feelings. They often put words to feelings I can’t find words to express.
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Love what you say, exactly how I feel, acting okay but inside emotionally exhausted and no one knows.
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