Dominic’s death has made me angry at times.
And I really don’t have anyone on whom to focus that anger.
I can blame Dom, but what will that do for my heart?
I can be angry at God, but the truth is, I have too long a history with Him to think that He is punishing me or that He isn’t the loving Father I know Him to be.
So often I end up casting blame on those who don’t live up to my standards of how they SHOULD be walking alongside me in this Valley.
Because all that anger has to go somewhere, right?
Sad thing is, right when I need friends most, if I’m spending my time picking them apart because they aren’t approaching me in the most helpful ways or, worse-avoiding me altogether-then I am guaranteeing I’ll be alone and lonely.
It does hurt when folks say the wrong thing, don’t say anything or let mention of my missing son fall like a lead ball between us.
But most often it isn’t because they MEAN to hurt me, it’s because they don’t know what to say or how to act.
Child loss and its lifelong aftermath is largely a secret in Western society.
Even many mental health professionals don’t recognize its ongoing impact on a heart and life.
I’m beginning to suspect that most of the people I know have been and are doing the best they can to walk alongside me in this Valley. And, well, if it looks a little awkward or is kind of an on again/off again thing-I’ll give grace.
Blaming is easy.
But it pushes hearts apart.
Right when I need them to come closer.