In Case You Didn’t Know: Why It Hurts To Steal Someone Else’s Words

Over a year ago (maybe two now?) there was an incident in which a bereaved mom took my words and passed them off as her own.  

It was painful.  

Not because I’m pridefully invested in getting credit for the words but because I am emotionally invested in this blog as a record of my own grief journey and as a way to honor my son.  

It’s simply NOT OK to copy/paste and pass another’s words as your own.  

Just the other day a mom posted on a closed site that she had questioned another mom when the words she claimed as her own sounded too familiar.  Mom #1 googled the text and found that, sure enough, it was a direct quote from Angela Miller, a published author and fellow bereaved mother.

Mom # 1 challenged Mom # 2 but was shouted down by others because, after all, “everything is fair game on the Internet”.  

That’s untrue.    

Online publishing is subject to copyright laws as much as print publishing.  The fact that an author is willing to make the work freely available and easily shareable does not remove the obligation to give appropriate credit and use accurate citations.

sharing-economy-650x400

Grief is not a “free pass” to bad behavior.  

This blog is a record of my own grief journey and honors my son and my family.   

What grieving parent would want another person to steal (yes, steal!) his or her expression of the long, dark tunnel that is child loss?  What grieving parent would think that it’s alright to take a beautiful arrangement from the resting place of one child and put it on the resting place of another?

It’s out there, unprotected, in plain view, so what difference does it make?

The same common courtesy we expect to guide behavior in cemeteries should be the same common courtesy we can expect to guide behavior in online grief groups. 

I, and others. put our thoughts and emotions out there for parents to read in the hope that by reading them they will feel less alone.  

Most of us never make a dime from what we write.  

But we hope that whoever reads it, finds it helpful and then shares it, will honor our efforts by acknowledging the source.  We hope they will honor our child by using quotes and leaving his or her name in place.

It’s a beautiful thing to find words to express something deep in your heart.  

Just make sure to let folks know you found them and didn’t author them.  

Such a small act of gratitude for an amazing gift.  

me too sharing the path

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

10 thoughts on “In Case You Didn’t Know: Why It Hurts To Steal Someone Else’s Words”

  1. I am always in awe (and valudated, relieved) when someone is able to put into words what is in my heart, my broken heart. I am deeply appreciative……❤🐼

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for speaking out and it applies to all types of/reasons for writing. If someone else puts into words something that matches your thoughts exactly, it is easy enough to quote them and give credit. I will say, I am sometimes paranoid of accidentally plagiarizing, because I read a lot and a certain author’s ideas can really sink into my brain. When I wrote my own book, I had an extensive bibliography at the end, trying to include every conceivable book that influenced my thinking.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Melanie, if I ever would share your written thoughts with others, I would make a copy of the article to share in person, as a hard copy. I am hoping this is correct procedure?
    Congratulations on the birth of your grandchild! I have 2 grandsons and seeing them comforts my broken heart like nothing else can. Looking forward to your experiences as you have such a gift.
    Grandchildren are the icing on the cake of life. (my silly saying)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are welcome to share using the social media buttons or as a hard copy including the tag line. Thank you for being thoughtful.

      The baby is a blessing. Looking forward to the time we can bring him home. ❤️

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s