And The Gap Grows

Today has not been a good day.

It’s not a grief anniversary or a holiday or a birthday or any other identifiable grief trigger.

But I have cried. A lot.

Life refuses to pause, to take a break, to stop plowing forward even though I’m worn out and begging for a moment to catch up, catch my breath, figure out how to keep going.

No matter how well I plead my case it seems there’s no reprieve.

The gap between how I wish things would go and how they actually proceed grows wider each day.

I’m not angry.

I’m defeated.

Tomorrow is another day and I look forward to new mercies with the sunrise.

❤

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

10 thoughts on “And The Gap Grows”

  1. Melanie..the only words of comfort that I can offer you today are “I am listening and I hear you”. Sometimes, there is no point with the ‘hang in there’ or the ‘you’ve got this’ or the ‘tomorrow will be better’. Rather, simply, I hear you and the sadness on your heart. Colleen

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  3. The hardest time of the year. My son died just a few days after Christmas, 2016. The first Christmas we did nothing, my wife and I, we couldn’t. But since then I’ve become nearly manic at this time of the year with decorating (before his death we decorated for the Christmas season in a beautifully but neat and orderly way…never over the top like we do now) and gift shopping. I know it’s a grief-response mechanism to keep me from dwelling too much and falling too deeply into depression.

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  4. Pingback: It Is Not a Grief Anniversary. Still, The Gap Grows – thelifeididntchoose | Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library

  5. Praying for you, Melanie. Everything you share has been part of my survival this year, and I am grateful. May God grant you this day His tender mercies.

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  6. The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. May this promise from His word bolster you today.

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  7. Good morning dear heart. I’ve been missing but I am here. I would want you to know you are often in my thoughts and prayers even when I haven’t commented on your posts.
    May the light of Christ be with you today and always ❤

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