I’ve heard it from more than one bereaved parent.
I’ve thought it myself.
“Is God punishing me?”
Have I done something so terrible that it falls outside the grace and mercy of the God Who sent His Son and so I must pay for it with my own child?
Read the rest here: Is God Punishing Me?
I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.
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2 thoughts on “Bereaved Parents Month 2020: Is God Punishing Me?”
This is such a touchy area for me.
While Brady was growing up his dad and I divorced and I went AWOL Brady was still with me, but I was very angry at Brady’s dad and God for allowing him to destroy our family. I had several years when I mocked God and ran, ran, ran. I was a terrible, terrible example of how to handle life. Brady followed me away from church, but most importantly away from God.
When he died on March 18, 2016 of chronic alcoholism and drug addiction I felt I was largely responsible for getting on the wrong path. I had prayed for God to set him free, and I KNOW He did, but the guilt lingers even now which contributes to my grief.
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I can understand that your heart accuses you. Many of us can think of ways we were a bad example to our child(ren). And for that, we must bear the blame and guilt (or at least I think we have to acknowledge it, repent and ask God to forgive us, along with our child if he or she is still alive).
But no matter how bad an example we may have been, I absolutely believe that God does not allow our child’s death as punishment or retribution for our sins. Those were paid for by the blood of Christ.
Still, there may be natural consequences to our own sinful behavior and He will not always (or maybe even often) exempt us from those.
I pray that the Lord grants you grace to forgive yourself and lean into His faithful, enduring love, resting in that peace only He can provide. ❤