Honest Question

I’ve had more than one person suggest I compile these blog posts into a print resource.

It would be a daunting task.

Much of what I write is meant to be a short, stand alone musing about one aspect of grief or another and I’m not sure how to weave individual posts into some sort of cohesive fabric or narrative that would be worth anyone’s time or effort to read.

So I have an honest question: Do you, faithful reader, think such a thing would be helpful?

Is it worth the time, energy, effort and seeking publisher permissions for quotes?

If you do think it’s a good idea, what format might be best? Short essays/posts collected by topic or a narrative of my journey punctuated by excerpts from blog entries?

This is NOT a vanity post, it’s a genuine question.

So let me hear from you.



Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

28 thoughts on “Honest Question”

  1. Your blog posts are just enough at the beginning of the grief journey. I couldn’t concentrate on reading books and your posts were a regular daily support that I relied on very much.

    However, as a book person, I would definitely appreciate a hard copy to reference whenever. I know I could do that with your posts but it feels more comfortable with books.

    Your question regarding format, is that it is your journey so I think it should be format with reference section to topics. I hope this has been helpful



  2. Yes, I do believe your putting your blogs into book format…just as each is titled…..I wouldn’t be concerned that the entries are short….in grief, especially early grief, short is perfect…..too difficult to sustain attention to lengthier prose….

    For example, the book, Healing After Loss , is one page per entry…

    Your writings are meaningful and bring solace, succor to a broken heart.

    Good luck…you will decide what is right for you

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, please publish a book. A chronological collection of your blogs. I have been comforted by your words – even just to know someone else feels and thinks like me.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I really think you should. It’s a book I would definitely buy and give away. I sometimes now share certain posts with others. A lot of them are also in a folder on my iPad…but I’d rather have a book. The power of your writing is in exactly the way you write these posts. I wouldn’t want to see that changed. Maybe just a short intro with some of them of the time line…imho

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Melanie,
    Would LOVE a book of your posts by topic to be able to look up when the need arrives. You always seem to speak to me at times needed the most. Godspeed on this journey….you are so appreciated.

    Love, Katherine

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think if written as a yearly day by day journal it would be nice. I look forward to opening your post every day. It is like a daily devotional to guide me since my son died Feb.12, 2019. A friend sent me a link
    to your blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Your blog has helped me more than any other source. The fact that your posts are from the heart is what makes them so powerful. I suggest taking 365 of your posts and putting them in a devotional format, largely unedited. I wouldn’t attempt to organise them by theme except for those that occur naturally through the year, such as coping with holidays. I’ve had so many “that’s me!” moments as I’ve read your blog for nearly five years. Perhaps a daily devotional would allow others to best receive similar encouragement in the future.


  8. Great idea! As I am now in my 5th year of missing my son; my opinion is to format by year…..
    Year one and two for me was surviving the flood of firsts, the absorbing of an unplanned and unwelcome truth….
    For me, knowing part of your journey helps me navigate through my own…so few can truly understand our struggle…
    Best of luck either way

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Like many others I didn’t have the attention to focus on long stories (except books on audio) the length of your daily blog was just right. Many nights I was unable to sleep and your blog was the last thing I would read late at night. I would love to read daily posts, like a daily devotional. Now 4 years after my son left us I would be able to read your story and I would like to hear your story in a narrative way. Right after my son’s death I did desperately search for stories of people that had lost a child, because I didn’t understand how I was going to make it through the first days. I would listen to books on tape. I would also love to hear you read your story. So a daily devotional, a narrative and an audio recording I would all love to buy. I know that is a daunting task! Anything you do I will buy! You have helped me so much, you just always write just what I need to hear! Thank you from the bottom of my heart💔

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I use your menu to go back to find old post that I think another grieving parent might find helpful and I personally think being able to give them a copy in book form would be a wonderful tool. Your post still minister to me and it’s creeping up on 9 years since Jacob died. So a yes, I think you should publish, and keep the same format. Being able to read your thoughts as you have felt led to write is what is so unique about your post. There is no “preachy-ness” just your raw grief and how God reaches down and lifts your head.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I think that “short essays/posts collected by topic” would be a good way to go. That way, a person could re-read certain topics that they need for encouragement on a particular day.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I think keeping them short and by topic would be good. When you’re grieving, long chapters can be too overwhelming to read. And having it arranged by topic would make it simple. You could start with a section telling your story.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Yes please. I save many of your post to my email, so I can go back and re-read. Would love to have your writings compiled in a book. Format- kind of like a daily devotional.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Have you ever heard of lament for a son. The book is similar to what you’re talking about short stories meant to stand alone. I read it in only a few days it was so incredible. I love reading your words. And have shared them often with the families that we serve. I say yes. There isn’t many resources where people are honest while still grieving. Most people wanna share their story after healing comes and for those who are in the trenches sometimes I don’t wanna read it’s going to be OK. They want their pain validated and given time to process. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Absolutely!!! I would love to be able to “hold” a book and return to particular posts easily over and over again. Your writings have helped me immensely in every aspect of my grief, like a trusted, faithful friend, and and kept my heart focused on Jesus as my true Comforter all along the way. Three years ago today my beautiful 25 year old son Connor was tragically killed by a drunk driver and went ahead of us to heaven. I’m still trying to figure out the best ways to state that. 😓 When you talk about your Dominic, I notice many similarities with my son. Please keep writing. You do it well, especially through your own pain and loss, and God is glorified! Please publish your writing into a book. I’d be willing to help in whatever way I can. In Christ’s love, Jill


    1. Oh, and as far as format, I like the idea of keeping the posts just as you’ve written them, dated and even perhaps in the same order of just how you’ve written and posted them, allowing us to be witnesses to your journey through your writings this way, as well as paralleling our own journeys. I would find that to be powerful witness to your experience and growing faith, wisdom, insight, courage, peace and strength to carry this burden of sorrow and pain as the Lord has given all along the way. ❤️


  16. Short essays…. My daughter Vanessa went ahead to heaven shortly before your Dominic. I have received your daily emails for years now. I like the daily read. Many people put their journey in story form, in my opinion a daily read is so much more inspiring. Thank you for sharing.⭐

    On Thu, Jan 7, 2021, 2:18 AM thelifeididntchoose wrote:

    > Melanie posted: ” I’ve had more than one person suggest I compile these > blog posts into a print resource. It would be a daunting task. Much of what > I write is meant to be a short, stand alone musing about one aspect of > grief or another and I’m not sure how to weav” >


  17. Yes please compile your essays! I think that sorting them by topic would be a great. I have a number of books on grief and find that the “short” items are the ones I go back to, even after 5 years of this hell I still, sometimes, have difficulty concentrating on a long chapter. Also, while I do most of my everyday reading on a tablet, including the newspaper, all of my grief books are hard copies! There’s something about being able to highlight and write in the margins that helps me. Thank you for what you do, you have helped me on so many occasions.
    Anne Hunsaker
    Patrick’s mom


  18. Melanie;
    Putting your writings in book form as you have written them just may be the next step in your own grief journey God has not left you in your journey and He will surely lead you on. Go with confidence dear friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Sweet Melanie. I have a stack of books on grief, some I was given, some I purchased. None of them I have read. When I was directed to you, you seemed to write my heart. I love waking up to your posts. I also enjoy the format. My grieving mind could not handle reading more than one page in a sitting. What you do HELPS me and others. That being said, I support you to do anything you feel lead to do 💙
    Just please keep writing to my heart!!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Yes. You offer truth and rawness to the ones that read your words. No sugar coating the intensity of heartache that is child loss.

    I for one would purchase your books. An e-book is an affordable alternative for those of us whose loss has added physical ailments and are unable to work.

    A way to purchase it so that we can buy our own and gift it to others.

    May you seek God for guidance on what would be best for you.

    Thank you.

    Isabel Christina’s mom

    On Thu, Jan 7, 2021, 2:19 AM thelifeididntchoose wrote:

    > Melanie posted: ” I’ve had more than one person suggest I compile these > blog posts into a print resource. It would be a daunting task. Much of what > I write is meant to be a short, stand alone musing about one aspect of > grief or another and I’m not sure how to weav” >


  21. Yes I think you should. There are many posts that you have written that made me say “yes I am feeling exactly the same way”. I have recommended your blog to many friends who are going thru the loss in their life. You definitely have a gift to reach people.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. What a wonderful idea.
    There are still many people who prefer to hold and read actual books.
    I have purchased books over the years that i will pick up and read a few chapters when I need a quick pick me up.
    Best of luck if you start this new adventure. 💙

    Liked by 1 person

  23. When my son died, I searched all kinds of blogs and groups about grief and there are lots of them out there but your blog is the ONLY one that truly spoke to me, my thoughts, your words. Should you write a book? Yes I think it is worth the effort. You have a gift and although they way God revealed your gift was unimaginable loss and pain, He revealed your gift. So my answer is yes, please compile all of this into a book for grieving parents and families.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. YES! Short essays by topic with quotes from your posts would be wonderful in book form. .. something we could pick up and reference for some comfort whenever we need support. It would surely be by my bedside. I cant tell you how much your wisdom and writings have helped since my son, my only child, ran ahead to Heaven 2 1/2 years ago. God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Hello. I’m not a faithful reader nor an expert in this kind of things. This post just came to my feed and I can’t bother but to comment.

    I think this idea would be great to try 🙂 Tho there are several things to be considered before getting it done, I know it’ll be worth it.

    And about the format, narrative journey from your blog excerpts would be better for me. If I would be your reader, I’d like to know your present perspectives from those you’d written from the past, if it slightly changed or it’s still in you.

    Hope this helps. 😂 Goodluck to whatever your decision may be.

    Liked by 1 person

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