Bereavement and Spoon Theory: THIS Is Why I’m Exhausted!

We like to think we are invincible, full of infinite energy and able to handle anything life may throw at us. It’s understandable considering Western society places a premium on heroic endurance in the face of adversity or challenge.

Truth is, though, our emotional, physical and mental energy are not infinite. We ALL have an absolute rock bottom where we simply cannot do one. more. thing.

And living with child loss means I exhaust my resources sooner than many.

I love this concrete representation of my limitations. It has helped me understand that it’s OK to say, “no” and it’s human to have to.

I hope it gives you courage to do the same.

❤ Melanie

The basic idea is that everyone starts with a finite number of “spoons” representing the energy, attention and stamina that can be accessed for any given day. When you do something, you remove a spoon (or two or three) based on the effort required.  When you have used up all your spoons, you are operating at a deficit. 

Like a budget, you can only do that so long before you are in big trouble.

Read the rest here: Spoon Theory Applied to Bereavement

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

2 thoughts on “Bereavement and Spoon Theory: THIS Is Why I’m Exhausted!”

  1. It’s a good thing I don’t live by man’s rules and the spoon rules. Those are earthly rules and excuses. I live by Gods plan and word. I trust that Gods plan is the perfect plan even though I don’t understand it. I don’t trust my own plan. We are human and what we think is the best plan isn’t the best plan. We trust Gods plan. Even though the Rule of Spoons says “we are in big trouble when there are no spoons,”I don’t believe that. I believe
    God’s word and promises.
    Psalm 29:11
    The Lord will give strength to His people;
    The Lord will bless His people with peace

    Psalms 89:21
    My hand will always be with him,
    and My arm will strengthen him

    Isaiah 58:11
    “And the Lord will continually guide you,
    And satisfy your desire in scorched places,
    And give strength to your bones;
    And you will be like a watered garden,
    And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail

    Isaiah 41:10
    Do not fear, for I am with you;
    Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
    I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
    Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand’

    Isaiah 40:29
    God gives power to the weak. And to those who have no might, He increases strength.

    Psalm 46:1
    God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m thankful you find refuge and strength in the Lord and in His Word. I do too!

      So many times when I have felt I couldn’t go on, He gives me the strength and courage to continue.

      I didn’t mean to imply by this post or by sharing this theory that He does not supernaturally encourage, empower or strengthen His children.

      However, we are made of dust and there are physical and biological limits to our bodies according to the laws He Himself wove into the fabric of creation and me. So this is a way to understand when I am exceedingly weary, perhaps I have exceeded them and I should rest. ❤


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