I promise I didn’t sneak a peek at today’s devotion before I wrote yesterday’s thoughts.
But maybe it’s because I have a very, very close relationship with the potential for comparison and discontent that I linked the two even before reading Chole’s reflection.
See, it’s really, really easy to look at others whose lives are bigger, better and more beautiful and become bitter that mine isn’t.
And even when I am successful at taking material or spiritual blessings off the table of comparison, I’m left with rating suffering others are spared against the suffering I’ve been called to carry.
But like Judas-who was one of the Twelve, trusted disciple and invited guest to the Last Supper-if I allow discontent to gain a foothold I’m an easy target for the enemy.
“He doesn’t love you.” “He doesn’t care what happens to you.” He doesn’t even SEE you.” can lead my heart down a dark trail of despair where I’m not only acting against my own best interest but defaming the Name of my Shepherd King.
I work very hard at not letting the devil rent space in my head.
Sometimes it takes a practical turn and means walking away from social media or media in general. Sometimes it means wrestling “what ifs” and “whys” to the ground.
It ALWAYS means active effort on my part.
One of the fiercest allies of not-enough-ness is our imaginations. Today, fast daydreaming of “more”. Refuse to allow discontentment brain space. Each time you are tempted to picture your life with something else or something new or something different, stop. (Yes, I just said STOP.) And redirect your mental energy to thank God for anything in your current reality for which you can be grateful.
Alicia Britt Chole
**As promised, I am sharing thoughts on 40 DAYS OF DECREASE (a Lenten journal/devotional). If you choose to get and use the book yourself, I’ll be a day behind in sharing so as not to influence anyone else’s experience**
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thelifeididntchoose 
Sorry, I can’t do this. My only child, Eric, died suddenly and unexpectedly seven months ago. It will never be ok that he died. He served and gave of himself. I hate that I am alone and God allowed others to have their children. How is that love?
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I’m so very sorry for your pain and your loss, Marjorie.
I cannot answer the question you have posed. My son also died suddenly and unexpectedly and I have never been able to answer it for myself.
What I can tell you is that once I was able to see a little clearer through the fog of grief and pain I came to accept that there were things about this life I didn’t understand and never would. I have chosen to cling to my faith and live in the mysterious space between what I know and what I will never know until eternity. I regularly ask, “Why?” but I have now become accustomed to the silence.
I do believe that God is a good and loving God and that however and for whatever reason He allowed my son to precede me in death is congruent with His character even though I can’t make it fit with human reasoning.
I pray that the Lord will make His Presence very real to you and that His grace and mercy will overwhelm your hurting heart. ❤
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Thank you for responding to my comment. I
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Good message. I need to perform this on a daily basis. Thank you
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something I have been struggling with lately. I have to be careful not to let the root of bitterness in my heart
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