Analogies. Why I Keep Trying.

Every day in this space I write primarily for the bereaved.

I try to share honestly and openly so others know they are not alone, are not crazy and are absolutely within the normal parameters of life after loss.

But I also write for those who are yet not bereaved but walking alongside a broken heart.

As many of us in the child loss community say, “you don’t know what you don’t know”. True enough. Yet it IS possible to help those who have not experienced our pain gain at least a bit of insight into what it feels like.

So I continue to frame my journey in terms and examples that might help them understand.

Just last night someone close to me had an “Aha!” moment.

Over a decade into my struggle with autoimmune disease I was finally able to offer an analogy that rang true with them and connected the pain and difficulty of my daily experience to something they understood and had felt for themselves.

It was glorious!

In a flash, this person recognized (at least on some level) what a struggle it is for me to do things like turn a door knob, hold a coffee cup, lift anything over a pound in weight, button my shirt, brush my teeth or drive a car.

All things they take for granted and do without thinking about them or making a plan.

So I keep sharing and hoping that one or more of the analogies I use for the ongoing struggle of life after child loss will ring true with friends and family and they will have an “aha” moment too.

I send every post out on the worldwide web with a prayer that somehow, somewhere a heart is strengthened, eyes are opened and life might be made just a tiny bit easier for those of us bearing this burden.

Life after loss is hard.

Nothing is as easy or simple as it once was.

I don’t want pity!

But I welcome compassion, understanding and grace.

***What analogies have you used to help friends and family understand this journey? Please share them!!***