Mother’s Day as a Bereaved Mother

In recent years I’ve noticed more awareness of how hard it can be for women who struggle with infertility to walk into church on Mother’s Day and I am glad.

Pews filled with other women’s children and bulletin announcements, public recognition of “oldest mother”, “youngest mother”, “mother with the most children” along with the obligatory sermon based on Proverbs 31 conspire in a litany of accusation against the barren womb.

Some of these women choose to stay home.  Others may be silently lifting a prayer for grace or may, like Hannah, be begging God for a child.

As a bereaved mother, this is a complicated holiday for me too.

I am so, so thankful for all my children.

I received each as a gift from God and treasure them in my heart.

Being a mother has been and continues to be the most demanding and most rewarding thing I have ever done or ever hope to do.

I used to look forward to Mother’s Day.

Not so much because it celebrated me as a mom, but because it was a moment to pause, reflect and remember how wonderful it is to be surrounded by my children.

But there’s no train from here to Heaven, no telephone line that can bridge the gap between where I am and where Dominic is.

I will never again be able to gather my children around our earthly table, see each of their faces, hug their necks.

So bear with me.

  • Let me be happy for the children I can see and sad for the one I can’t.
  • I might join in with singing, or I might just close my eyes and remember Sundays past when we were sitting in the same pew, together and strong.
  • If you see me rush out of the sanctuary at the end of service, please don’t stop me.  Let me go-I may have held back sobs during the closing prayer and need to escape and let them loose.

And if you think of me and other mothers who have buried children, pray for me and for them.

Pray that we finish strong, that we persevere and that we continue to cling to the One Who can carry us through the rest of our days with hope and courage.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you will abound in hope and overflow with confidence in His promises.

Romans 15:13 AMP
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Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

11 thoughts on “Mother’s Day as a Bereaved Mother”

  1. My 10th year without Ethan, also. My 9th year without my mom. I have never like Mother’s Day. The year before we were married,(2nd marriage, blended family) my husband bought me a bike for Mother’s Day. The next year, nothing. Didn’t even try to get the kids to do breakfast in bed, etc. When I asked him why he couldn’t at least have gotten me a card, his response was “You’re not my mother”. And because his kids called me by my first name, at that VERY moment, MY kid came in and used my first name. I was beyond hurt and have always hated the day since. The last 10 years, because I tend to “flight” in negativity, I would go away with a girlfriend or my husband. My first year without both my son and my mother, I was in France visiting a friend. I had no idea it was MD in the States and, if I had I JUST stayed off FB, I would’ve been oblivious. But no, I went on to load some pics. I just started crying. Closed the laptop and went upstairs to try to explain it to my friend. (She had been away from the States and lived in the French Alps, so her English had really deteriorated). She finally understood the enormity of my grief and I am so glad I was with her. I just wish I hadn’t opened that laptop.

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  6. This also is six years that our Devin decided to leave us, not a day goes by that I don’t miss him, if only ……. I could turn back the time

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  7. Thanks four years and I miss him so much mother’s day Is bittersweet I am thankful and blessed my other children are here but so very broken that my beautiful boy isn’t . Thanks for your memories and insight. Happy mother’s day to you

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  9. This will be my first mother’s day without Adam here on the earth. Thank-you for reminding me that it’s okay to not be “happy”.

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