There’s a Hole in My Bucket

I bet most of you reading this have listened to more than one round of the kiddy tune, “There’s a Hole in the Bucket, Dear Liza, Dear Liza”.

It is a funny song full of silly remedies for patching a bucket that won’t hold water even though it’s been dipped in the well and filled to the brim.

I was talking to my husband the other day about how hard it is to describe the ongoing difficulty of living with child loss.

And this song popped into my head.

Good things still happen in our lives (our bucket is being filled) but losing Dominic has put a hole in the bottom of it (the bucket never gets full anymore).

It’s not that we don’t appreciate and enjoy happy moments.  We do.

We love seeing our children, we like to celebrate their accomplishments and sing, “Happy Birthday!”.

We are so very proud of who they are and what they have overcome.

We savor the time we get to spend together, we enjoy eating and laughing and sharing experiences.

But we can’t plug the leak of loss that saps our strength and reduces the fullness of our joy.

Hope postponed grieves the heart; but when a dream comes true, life is full and sweet.

Proverbs 13:12 VOICE

Lest anyone think I’ve forgotten that Jesus promises joy to those who follow Him, I haven’t.

But I also know many promises will not be completely realized until He returns as King on Earth.

lion-and-lamb-best-friends-fahad-photographer

 

The lion will lie down with the lamb, but not today.

Swords will be beaten into ploughshares, but not just yet.

 

There will be no more night, but the sun still sets once every 24 hours.

rev 22_5

I am looking forward to the moment when every single thing I now believe in faith will be plain to every eye.

I can’t wait to see the redemption of not only my pain, but ALL pain.

I long for the morning when JOY is all I will know.

In that day the New Jerusalem shall descend and there will be no need for the sun or moon, because the LORD Himself will be the light.

All the way around shall be eighteen thousand cubits; and the name of the city from that day shall be: THE LORD IS THERE.

Ezekiel 48:35 NKJV

 

Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

8 thoughts on “There’s a Hole in My Bucket”

  1. So true “we can’t plug the leak of loss that saps our strength and reduces the fullness of our joy.” Hard to explain to others how we can still be happy and feel joy but it’s never the fullness it once was before their death.

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  2. It is during these times of loss that our heavenly Father makes the eternal things real, and enables us to articulate the truths that He teaches us about Him and life. If interested, you might view this, https://godsgracegodsglory.com/2017/01/07/heaven-in-a-bucket/ posted a few weeks ago. Heaven in a Bucket was actually written over twenty years ago, but is relative to any time for God’s children. Praying for His blessings for all who are feeling a void in this life. ~ Fran

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  3. This is right where I am at now. I read about Christians who have suffered terribly and seem to have done it with a shining joy that I just can’t seem to muster. I would like to know with what they plugged their bucket. Maybe we just can’t be completely overjoyed down here because this is not our home. How can we be bubbling over with joy when our heart is someplace else? Yet I still feel this is something I must somehow do. He came so that my joy might be full. The Lord will have to do this for me. I need to let Him. Psalm 16:11 … in thy presence is fulness of joy. In thy presence, that is where I need to abide. Lord, help us.

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  4. Just yesterday I was thinking that all of my dreams died with my Evan…but then I had to correct myself because I do still have dreams for my living child, grandchild, and even myself…but they are all forever altered. My sons will never (down here) be full grown men together sharing parenting stories of their kids or helping their old momma out with a project she might need, my grandson will never (down here) know his uncle who was so nervous and shy holding him for the first time when he was 5 days old, but he looked down at him with love and a big smile and softly said “hel-lo”. I too look forward, now with more joy and anticipation than ever before, the day when we have nothing but joy. I hope Jesus understands and doesn’t hold it against me that heaven seems sweeter now with both my son and mother are there with him. I know it should have been enough that He was there.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Honestly Stacy, I think that the sorrows of this life turning our hearts toward heaven are one way God works in our lives. I don’t think that Jesus holds it against us-we are told that He was fully human-experiencing every pain that we do. Surely as He walked the earth, feeling the sorrow and weight of longing we all feel, He knew that heaven is sweeter when life is bitter. Praying for us all.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. It helps to say these things “out loud” in a safe place instead of just letting them roll around in my mind…thank you for listening and replying.

        Liked by 2 people

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