Father’s Day for Bereaved Fathers

I can’t pretend to understand exactly what it feels like to be a father who buries a child. I’ve only been able to watch from the outside as my husband absorbed the impact of that great wound.

But I can tell you this:  for dads, like moms, each holiday is another mile marker on the road of grief.

It is another poignant reminder that things are not as they were-they are not as they should be.  

father hurts too

Many men keep the hurt bottled up inside, don’t talk about it, don’t seek out fellow bereaved fathers, and don’t cry as much as their wives.

It is easy to forget and overlook the ongoing pain of child loss for fathers-especially when outward signs are few.  

But I promise you-that dad in the pew on Sunday-he’s hurting.

That man shaking hands and joking-he remembers.

He hasn’t forgotten that one of the special people that called him “Daddy” is no longer around to do it.

Tell him you remember too.

Speak his child’s name and share a special memory.

Acknowledge the pain.  Let him express his grief.  

And honor him as a father to ALL his children-those that walk the earth with him and those that don’t.  

good father unsung



Author: Melanie

I am a shepherd, wife and mother of four amazing children, three that walk the earth with me and one who lives with Jesus. This is a record of my grief journey and a look into the life I didn't choose. If you are interested in joining a community of bereaved parents leaning on the promises of God in Christ, please like the public Facebook page, "Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child" and join the conversation.

4 thoughts on “Father’s Day for Bereaved Fathers”

  1. Melanie—my wife shared the link to your blog not long after our 22-year-old son died in a fall from his fraternity’s rooftop 3 years ago. Your words have been the single greatest support for me on my grief journey. Thank you from a Grieving Father.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m very thankful the blog has been a help on your journey. I am sometimes afraid that since I write from a bereaved mom’s perspective, I’m leaving dads out. Even though I know y’all experience many of the same emotions and struggles, I never want to assume my experience translates to that of another. Praying that you feel the Father’s loving arms around you tomorrow in a special way.


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