It’s hard-it’s hard to stay the words that come unbidden to mind and threaten to fly out of your mouth.
It takes restraint. And patience. And wisdom.
But when I finally open my locked box of hurt and pain and memories and heartache-please, please-just listen.
I know better than you that nothing anyone says, or does or hopes to do can change the facts.
Dominic’s not here-he’s there.
And I also know that makes you feel helpless. I feel helpless too.
I’m not looking for pity. I don’t want attention. I have no desire to make you sad.
I have to let it out or I’ll burst. If others saw the fullness of emotions brimming in my heart they would stand amazed that I could push them down and keep them inside so much of the time.
But speaking my sorrow is empowering.
It provides a witness. It means that he matters, that I matter and that this awful reality is recognized by someone other than just me.
When you shut me down or shut me out I. am. crushed.
In the end, you can walk away. You have another life to go back to. My pain is tangential to the reality of your every day.
It is central to mine.
So, please-encourage my heart with compassionate presence and just listen.